Back Further Foolishness
Chapters (25)
  1. FURTHER FOOLISHNESS
  2. *
  3. Contents
  4. Preface
  5. FOLLIES IN FICTION
  6. I - Stories Shorter Still
  7. II - Snoopopaths; or, Fifty Stories in One
  8. III - Foreign Fiction in Imported Instalments
  9. MOVIES AND MOTORS, MEN AND WOMEN
  10. IV - Madeline of the Movies: A Photoplay Done Back into Words
  11. V - The Call of the Carburettor, or, Mr. Blinks and His Friends
  12. VI - The Two Sexes in Fives or Sixes a Dinner-Party Study
  13. VII - The Grass Bachelor's Guide with Sincere Apologies to the Ladies' Periodicals
  14. VIII - Every Man and His Friends Mr. Crunch's Portrait Gallery
  15. IX - More than Twice-Told Tales; or, Every Man His Own Hero
  16. X - A Study in Still Life—My Tailor
  17. PEACE, WAR, AND POLITICS
  18. XI - Germany from Within Out
  19. XII - Abdul Aziz Has His
  20. XIII - In Merry Mexico
  21. XIV - Over the Grape Juice; or, the Peacemakers
  22. XV - The White House from Without In
  23. TIMID THOUGHTS ON TIMELY TOPICS
  24. XVI - Are the Rich Happy?
  25. XVII - Humour as I See It

All sorts of things, occurrences of daily life, set him thinking. One day he saw some peasants drowning a tax collector in the river. It made a deep impression on him. He couldn't understand it. There seemed something wrong about it.

"Why did they drown him?" he asked of Yump, the cook.

"He was collecting taxes," said Yump, and she threw a handful of cups into the cupboard.

Then one day there was great excitement in the town, and men in uniform went to and fro and all the people stood at the doors talking.

"What has happened?" asked Serge.

"It is Popoff, inspector of police," answered Itch. "They have found him beside the river."

"Is he dead?" questioned Serge.

Itch pointed reverently to the ground—"He is there!" he said.

All that day Serge asked questions. But no one would tell him anything. "Popoff is dead," they said. "They have found him beside the river with his ribs driven in on his heart."

"Why did they kill him?" asked Serge.

But no one would say.

So after this Serge was more perplexed than ever.

Every one noticed how thoughtful Serge was.

"He is a wise boy," they said. "Some day he will be a learned man. He will read and write."

"Defend us!" exclaimed Itch. "It is a dangerous thing."

One day Liddoff, the priest, came to the house with a great roll of paper in his hand.

"What is it?" asked Serge.

"It is the alphabet," said Liddoff.

"Give it to me," said Serge with eagerness.

"Not all of it," said Liddoff gently. "Here is part of it," and he tore off a piece and gave it to the boy.

"Defend us!" said Yump, the cook. "It is not a wise thing," and she shook her head as she put a new lump of clay in the wooden stove to make it burn more brightly.

Then everybody knew that Serge was learning the alphabet, and that when he had learned it he was to go to Moscow, to the Teknik, and learn what else there was.

So the days passed and the months. Presently Ivan Ivanovitch said, "Now he is ready," and he took down a bag of rubles that was concealed on a shelf beside the wooden stove in the kitchen and counted them out after the Russian fashion, "Ten, ten, and yet ten, and still ten, and ten," till he could count no further.

"Protect us!" said Yump. "Now he is rich!" and she poured oil and fat mixed with sand into the bread and beat it with a stick.

"He must get ready," they said. "He must buy clothes. Soon he will go to Moscow to the Teknik and become a wise man."