More a jacked-up asterisk, or tree, than an intersecting T, from bird’s eye.

Sat on the steps facing out onto Broad and this side street Potts, for a smoke.

Sun descending ahead.

Nippy, still.

I considered how best to get home from here.

Fairmount, if driving.

But there were all these mellow one-ways to hit, to avoid this sort of congestion, on Broad.

Melon, Mount Vernon, Green.

One-ways only those living on drove down.

Highly coast-able one-ways.

Employing the full lane.

Guide hand barely touching.

Posture erect.

Slaloming slightly, as potholes dictated.

But otherwise.

Cruising.

Fanny-pack Bluetooth slapping, still.

But something mellow.

Something scenic.

I thought about how this mode was prehistoric, to the first horse riders of the north, who’d figured this out. How to harness Nature without disconnecting from it completely. In contact with the unmediated, unscreened Outdoors.

The evolutionary discovery of Out Hereness one step above walking.

Out Hereness in technological motion.

“I’m a muhfucking horse rider bruh!” I yelled at a passing F-150, observing a light drizzle coming on but not caring.

5

SIDE BAE

March 2018

Went over to side bae’s to fuck.

Or sleep, conceivably.

Or neither.

But how she’d framed it, via text, last time.

Come over lemme blow you like you’ve never been.

A masculinity challenge.

I’d gotten shook.

Excited/shook.

But mostly shook.

Could I live up to whoever she thought I was.

Was I the dude she wanted me to be.

Was I that savage.

Honestly didn’t know.

Didn’t think so.

Same time, wasn’t about to pass up on finding out.

This time, though.

I wanted things to go different.

Didn’t leave me feeling great, how they ended, last time.

Never said I was gonna sleep over.

Nor did I know that that was what she’d wanted.

But she had.

She felt she was owed this, for what she’d done, it seemed.

I wasn’t going to sleep over for anything though.

Not last time; not this.

I didn’t do that.

Didn’t sleep at night when alone even!

Damn sure wasn’t gonna with another.

Not to mention, her dang cat, I reminded myself, popping a Benadryl as I pulled up to her stoop.

Side bae was in coy mode.

Coy and pretty.

She wanted to watch a show together.

Like we were OD booed up.

I was game, I said, my manhood recoiling inside me slightly.

She had her laptop open on an ottoman.

Love seat set up with pillows, blanket.

“Gotta go to the bathroom, brb,” she said, bounding upstairs.

I unbundled.

Sat on the love seat.

Tapped her mousepad to see what she was thinking, show-wise.

YouPorn.com’s privately familiar homepage lit up the screen.

Caught me way off guard.

Heart pounding, I looked around to see if anyone saw me see, even though I knew damn well no one did.