On her keep-back stay-in-your-lane fuccboi shit.

Telling the world: It’s all love, you do you. But don’t encroach, bro.

This floral pattern and whatever’s beneath is for who I say it’s for.

For who I say it’s for and who I say it’s for only.

But still—it’s all love!

Just. Yeah.

BACK TF UP!

My loins were in sync with the flowers.

In bloom.

In HEAT.

No I was chillin, I wasn’t about to do anything wild.

But yeah my loins were keyed up.

Seeing a sexy flower, a coy kitty, shoot an attractive vase and goin half chub.

Like OH WHATS GOOD VASE WHATS YOUR NAME.

You seem like Gemini—what’s your sign, vase??

C’mon tell me!!

But no earlier I was out on the stoop, beatered up, guns out, getting-em-rays kicking it, when roomie bae pulled up on me.

Like Hey you know there’s a pool around the corner, it’s a city pool, what you doin rn.

No but actually.

Like Let’s…hit this pool howabout!

“Whaaat,” I said. “I don’t even have a suit, yo.”

“What about those shorts?”

“I do have those shorts,” I said.

“So…yeah?”

“I mean…yeah!”

She said: “Gonna shower. Get changed.”

Our shower was directly on the other side of the wall in my closet-room my twin bed was pressed up against.

And we were suddenly right next to each other, both naked and wet, but separated by a wall.

Suddenly so erect, taking my clothes off.

Seeing red, like Wait did she plan this.

Why she being so nice.

Why she tryna hang.

Was this a…test?

Was ‘gonna shower’ code for ‘If you a man you’ll know what that means and come join me’?

Nah dude. Chill.

She wifed.

She seen you when you was all fucked.

When you was splayed out, holed up, body broke.

The pool ended up being closed.

Lifeguard on site, to make sure no one snuck in.

When we pulled up, roomie bae asked Can’t we just take a look?

Taking a look won’t hurt no one, will it?

The lifeguard said Sure, come take a look.

I misinterpreted this; I thought ‘taking a look’ was code for ‘diving in.’

That’s seriously what I thought.

Y’know, that quick dip. In-n-out.

Like, why would we be tryna get that close to the pool, all ready to dive in, without diving in.

So after he led us through the vestibule hut, around its support columns, along the finger-painted mural walls and past both changing rooms—once inside the inner gate—I immediately tossed my towel aside, backed up to get a running start, and made like I was about to dive in.

Had he not been there to step in, to go Woah woah woah bud, you’ll get me in trouble ya do that, I woulda.

VII

Summer

1

OLD HEAD

St. James Day 2019