Which is when N stepped in, in defense of his gal, like this was too much conflict for her, like she couldn’t handle this, and went Dude. That’s sexist. You’re a misogynist for saying that.

They all turning on me, like I was the problem.

Bc words I said.

When clearly Z was getting a firsthand look into the consequences of dropping M like he had, as if there’d be none.

With no explanation. No communication.

All one needed to do to not be sus was communicate.

Or fkn try to. At least try.

I honestly felt it was good that Z saw that. Saw her reaction.

Anyway, they no longer wanted to do drinks after like we’d planned.

Then N, the next week.

Saying all sorts of wild shit at a Clark Park hang we had.

Going I’m worried about ya bud.

You’re getting lost in the men’s rights tunnel.

Writing about your hatred of women.

What, bc I said ‘ho’? I said.

That’s what this is all about, innit?

Like, do you understand what that phrase, ‘bros over hoes,’ even means?

If anything, I was critical of that concept. Only said the phrase to communicate my criticism.

How are you missing that.

And you think that’s what I’m writing about? Hatred of women?

N just doubled down.

Like You need help. Should talk to someone. You’re listening to too much Joe Rogan.

I’m investigating myself! I cut in. You think you’re never sus?! That you’re all good?

INVESTIGATE YOURSELF, DOG!

O’s a big girl, we were hashing it out, you stepping in like that was wild cringe-patronizing.

You think she can’t speak up for herself? Needs to be babied?

And you think Z wasn’t being sus?

Cutting off a bae a friend just bc he feeling a type of way that day?

Then communicating none of why?

That’s wack, bro.

But nothing was hitting.

Something seismic had shifted.

Why you think you’re still stuck on ex bae? N said.

You think it’s bc you ‘love’ her?

That’s not it, man.

You think you own her.

You don’t care about her.

You just wanna take her back.

And all this ‘fuckboy’ self-awareness? When does that become reveling in it. Become self-fulfilling.

This made me go quiet.

Consider this.

Still considering this, today.

I was about to say some version of all this to roomie bro.

Before, outta nowhere, I noticed, in the streetlight, my neighbor R just going in on his girl K. Two units over, on the sidewalk. Just throwing hands so fast it looked confusing.

Like he was dancing or something.

The movement was so unnatural, it took a sec to register what was even happening.