Michael Gallagher, who’d always be stressing about his hair, going How’s my hair, Edick? in thick Glaswegian, till someone, usually my dad (‘Eric’), told him your hair’s great, Michael, looking good.

Like I was equally a villager.

And the mama’s lil bro, my uncle N, had the same shit. The same condition.

On my walk back, I tried to write a description for the pod. To summarize it.

There were so many ways to write it.

So many voices.

The ole man’s restlessness, his insistence on continually fleeing, growing up, turning those early years, for me, into a slang-learning, accent-adopting gauntlet.

Ages 1–5 Japanese; 5–8 Gaelic-Scottish accent, UK slang; 8–9 upstate New York, insulated American white folk talk; 9–11 Sactown Latino-Black hood speak; 11 onwards Santa Cruz surfer speak.

And tone aside, the what of the writing.

To condense all I’d said in that hour into two paragraphs…

To say nothing of everything I hadn’t said—couldn’t say—on the pod.

How there was some knot in my gut Motherhood had tapped into, that I was only able to slightly loosen by ranting about it.

Ex bae getting Winnie-kitty so shortly after the abortion, right before moving into our spot together, in Oakland.

How I agreed to move into that spot in Oakland with ex bae, with Winnie-kitty, even though I was allergic. Bc why.

How meeting, hooking up with editor bae so shortly after ex bae got Winnie-kitty.

How that once, in Scotland, when Isabelle crushed that kitten—

Orr recently moved into Juniper house across the way up the hill by the farm by where they sheared the sheep holding it down so it wouldn’t wriggle. Moved from Is-rah-el. His mom the Juniper house parent, so he unscared of Malcolm stomping or Wally’s no thumbs, like Michael (Mich-a-el, like Is-rah-el) is when he comes over to play footie. Michael is scared so I keep him out on the field with the wooden goals the orange rope nets playing PK contest then 2 v. 1 when Andrew shows. Me the 1 bc I’m faster. Isabelle Andrew’s sis but different than Andrew. Different than me I think bc Michael is scared by her but not by Andrew by me. I wait till nap hour before going into Silverbirch to get water so Michael won’t scare.