Confusion turned into hurt. Hurt morphed into anger. And my pride kicked in. If he didn’t want to be friends, then I wasn’t going to beg him to be. We were navigating puberty and all that comes along with early adolescence. I thought we’d drift apart and then back together.

I gave up on that happening a long time ago. Or I thought I had, at least.

I can’t figure out how we got here. Sitting side by side as two people who have barely spoken in years but know a lot about each other. Who have seen each other naked.

Holden appears to be fast asleep when I glance over at him. He’s obviously not affected by my proximity the way I can’t seem to ignore his.

The bus turns onto the highway. Fall foliage is out in full force, the trees lining the interstate boasting a broad array of red, orange, and yellow. They pass by like a watercolor as the bus picks up speed. I press play on a playlist and lean my head against the cool glass of the window. Close my eyes and try to fall asleep.

* * *

“Cassia. Cassia. Cassia!”

I blink. My eyelashes flutter, torn between sleep and waking up. The surface I’m leaning against isn’t hard and cold. Nope, it’s warm and smells like cinnamon.

Shit. Even before I open my eyes, I know what I’ll see.

Not only did I manage to fall asleep, I also traveled from leaning against the bus window to resting on Holden’s shoulder. I sit up straight, focusing on fixing my ponytail as an excuse for not looking at him.

“You kinda suck as an alarm clock,” he comments.

“Set one next time, then.”

I don’t look over, but I can feel his eyes on me. Weighing my irritation. Trying to figure out its cause.

A glance out the window reveals we’re already in the city. Miles of asphalt and multi-colored leaves have turned into skyscrapers and yellow cabs.

I play with the hem of my sweater, twisting the knitted wool.

“What’s wrong?” he asks softly, like it’s a secret between me and him.

I drop my hands. “Nothing.”

“It’s not nothing. If you don’t want to tell me, just say so.”

“It’s just…overwhelming, I guess.”

“What do you mean?”

“The city. It’s big and busy and…I don’t know. I prefer not to have people on top of me when I walk around.”

I also have some apprehension about spending the next couple of days with the senior class. But Holden knows who I hang out with. Mentioning that will only make me look like more of a loser.

He half-smiles. It disappears quickly, like he’s worried about offending me. “Does that mean Columbia is out?”

“I’m not expecting to have a lot of options.”