I wasn’t expecting her to crawl on top of me. To be so responsive. I’d never gone down on a girl before. I’m not a total asshole in bed—I always make sure she gets off—but I’ve never prioritized someone else’s pleasure.

Cassia said I don’t want to know what she’s done with other guys—but she’s wrong. I do. Some masochistic, caveman part of me wants to replace every experience she’s had with memories of me instead.

“You good, Adams?” Finn asks as we enter the locker room. “You’ve been distracted all day.”

“Yeah. I just… This season is it, you know?”

It’s not the only thing I’m thinking about, but it’s not a lie. I am stressed about it. What it will mean for my family if I have options—my dad changing careers to come home or my sister left alone. What it will mean for my future if I don’t get a college degree.

Finn’s expression turns serious for a minute. “Yeah, I know.”

But he doesn’t, not really. He doesn’t have to worry. His family is loaded. I don’t think Finn even wants to play ball in college. Whatever comes from this season won’t have the same consequences for him as they will for me.

The locker room is already full when we arrive. I see all the guys on the team regularly. At parties and in shared classes. Most of them show up to the old court for pickup games on the weekends too. But there’s something different about being gathered together during the season, a heightened sense of comradery and anticipation.

I nod to the teammates I pass as I head toward my usual locker. It’s right next to Jordan Eaton’s. He bumps fists, then turns back to telling a few of the guys about the girl from Ridgemont he hooked up with this past weekend.

Ben Howard is part of his audience, and I hope he isn’t listening to any of Jordan’s advice too closely, especially if he’s got a thing with Cassia’s little sister. The protective urges I have toward Maggie are nowhere near as strong as how I feel about Cassia or Sydney, but they’re there. In my head, Maggie is still a little kid.

I finish changing into my practice gear and head straight into the gym. Coach Benson is already standing with Mr. Williams, who is officially a teacher in the arts department and unofficially our assistant coach. He helps out when he can, running a second set of drills for the JV guys and assisting with scheduling our season.