I glance from her to Susan to Sydney, looking for clues about why Holden is here. I would just ask him, but Sydney’s questions earlier are fresh in my mind. The last thing I want is for her to have more for me. That will require lying or telling the truth, both of which have lasting consequences. I’d rather not have to come up with any answers.

“Great. Do you have time to help me with Snowflake’s worming before you head out?”

“Yeah. Of course.” I focus on Eileen as I answer her, but I’m totally distracted. I lean against the edge of the reception desk, trying to focus on the dig of the wood trim against my hip instead of the blue eyes that are too easy to get lost in.

He’s here and he’s looking at me. And I can’t say a word—because I’m too worried about what might come out. My emotions are raw, and my judgment is shot, where he’s concerned.

Holden tosses the monkey up in the air and catches it. The stuffed animal squeaks. “I’ve gotta go. See you later, Syd.”

“Be careful, Holden,” she replies.

He grins, hasty and carefree. “I always am.”

A scoff escapes my mouth before I can stop it. Sydney has never been awake to see him stumble home, drunk and bloody. As opposite from careful as one could be. I cover my disbelief with a cough, but the way Holden’s grin widens suggests he sees right through it.

“Good to see you, Holden. Don’t be a stranger. Bring Lily by sometime.” Eileen is all friendliness and ease with Holden, which is rare. She’s not a people person. She prefers animal company, obvious as she suggests he brings their dog by.

“Yeah, I will. She’ll love this.” Holden holds up the monkey.

The sentences should be aimed at everyone, but he’s looking right at me as he says them. I inhale, sharply. Once again, I’m sure Holden is the only one who catches it. Knowing he is paying attention to me is a heady sensation. It’s giddiness and butterflies, the secret thrill of coveted attention.

I stand still for too long as he says goodbye and walks out the door. Eileen and Susan disappear into the back to set up the worming, leaving me and Sydney in the lobby. She dives back into filing the stack of folders on the desk.

I deliberate for thirty seconds, then ask, “What was Holden doing here?”

“I left some scripts in his car this morning. He thought I might need them and knew I was here.”

“Oh.” That’s all I can come up with to say in response.

I had a dentist appointment this morning, so Holden drove Sydney to school. Not a hardship on his part, considering they were leaving from the same place and headed to the same destination.