Casper steps up to the makeshift ring, lines drawn in the dirt. He’s trying to hide the apprehension on his face, but it’s there if you look hard enough.

Declan starts listing off the rules. The only important one is that the first man down loses. So far, it’s never been me. That’s why Declan is so desperate to keep finding me new opponents. But as I stand here, feeling the cold nip at my bare skin, I know I’m done.

The thrill is gone.

I’m used to this bored feeling. It happens all the time. With girls, with drinking, when I’m at parties. My life feels predictable in the worst way.

Swinging for sport isn’t exciting—the way it was the first few times. And if I get seriously injured and can’t play this season…I’m not sure I could live with myself, knowing I blew my one shot at a future. My dad makes a decent living, but there’s no way he could pay for me and Sydney to go to college without any assistance. Not to mention, I want to play in college. Basketball is the one thing that’s always remained fresh—that’s never lost its luster no matter how many years pass or how many times I step onto the court.

Actually, that’s a lie. There’s one other thing.

I study Casper. He’s listening to Declan, his hands swinging at his sides. Large muscles shift in his chest. I should feel apprehensive. I’m feeling nothing.

I’ve never even met this guy before. A punching bag would summon more emotion. So I do what I always do. I pretend he’s someone I can’t stand. Sometimes that means I’m swinging at myself. Tonight, I’m picturing Harrison Baker before me. Seeing him smile at Cassia and her smile back. Fury courses through me. My fingers twitch, ready to form fists.

For all of high school, I’ve never really considered the possibility that she might date someone. I’ve done my best to tune out Sydney’s babble whenever it concerns her best friend, to ignore the gossip, to not know what’s happening in Cassia’s life.

Maybe there have been lots of guys, and I’ve just been blissfully oblivious.

Maybe it was just shitty timing I had to watch another guy ogle her during the one encounter I couldn’t walk away from.

I was there to meet with her. I couldn’t not show when she was doing me a favor.

Although, with anyone else, I probably wouldn’t have had an issue. I’m cold and selfish.

Sydney is like our dad.

I’m like our mom. I’ve never pretended otherwise, never bothered to battle the destructive inclinations.