Other times I feel guilty for feeling so happy when my dad is gone and my mom doesn’t care. I never told Sydney about her brief reappearance. I want to shield her from whatever I can. Maybe one day I will. Slowly, I’m learning that opening up leads to more good than bad. But I’m not sure anything good could come from mentioning our mom. She hasn’t shown up since the school parking lot. Whatever obligation she felt to check in after our dad’s death was short-lived at best.

Mostly, I’m grateful that my mistakes aren’t permanent. That Cassia didn’t kick me to the curb the way I probably deserved.

“Your turn, Adams.” Finn bounces the ball to me.

I back up a few more feet, then take the shot. It swishes, and all the guys around me groan.

I’m the only one without a letter. Most of them miss from the spot, racking up another themselves.

Mark is the first to earn a second S. Rather than keep playing for other places, we abandon the game, spreading back through the party.

I beeline for Cassia, walking up behind her and closing my arms around her.

She leans back against me and glances up. “Did you win?”

I pull her closer to me and drop a blistering kiss on her lips. I pour everything into it—love and lust and vulnerability.

Cassia is an addiction—a healthy one. She soothes the darkness. Makes me want to be less destructive. Care more. Focus more. Matter more.

We don’t separate until my lungs are burning for air. “Basically.”

“I could have beat you.”

I scoff. “Sure.”

She rolls her eyes, but smiles.

I savor it—the feel of her in my arms and the soft expression on her face. “Finn wants to play Truth or Dare for old time’s sake. He’s been talking about it all morning.”

“I’d rather play with just you.”

“Oh, yeah?” I wrap one of her curls around one finger and tug. “Well, the truth is…I really want to fuck you right now.”

Cassia’s hazel eyes widen with surprise, then another emotion I recognize. Lust. “You asking me to go upstairs with you, Holden Adams?”

“Not asking. Just stating a fact.”

Going upstairs at a party together comes with a label. Even though we’ve been officially dating for months, people will notice. Care. Talk. It doesn’t bother me, but I don’t want Cassia to be uncomfortable.

She grabs my hand and pulls me toward the stairs, in full sight of everyone. The kitchen is crowded and so is the living room. But people make way for us, most of them watching with wide eyes. I guess we’re still some sort of novelty.

Once we’re upstairs, I pull her into the first bedroom.

Everything I thought I’d hate about commitment is absent when I’m with her.