His blue eyes are stormy yet clear, taking me in with an intensity I wasn’t expecting. He looks like he wants to consume me, and I want to let him.

I step forward, all but erasing the distance between us. I raise one hand, brushing the stubborn piece of hair that’s usually flopped on his forehead away. Outside of our most intimate moments, I’ve never really touched him. Not like this, at least. Not when we’re all alone, so purposeful and direct.

I’m proud of how I hold eye contact as I trail my fingers down and across his jaw, not shirking from his searching expression or worried what he’ll find. I’ve gained confidence from our physical interactions. It’s much easier for me to read how he responds to those than how he’s feeling or what he’s thinking. I don’t think he’ll reject me this way, and it emboldens me.

“What are you doing, Cassia?”

I slide my hand lower, fisting the fabric of his shirt. “I miss your cock.”

His eyes flare, surprise and lust mixing in ocean-colored depths.

There. I did my scary thing for the day.

I could have easily said I miss him, and it wouldn’t be any form of a lie. But I’m not sure I’ve ever experienced what having Holden is truly like. He was my first crush. Long before our friendship blew up, I hoped we’d become more. Instead, I got less.

I’ve never felt like he’s given me much. Nothing to my everything. The moments when we’ve had sex are some of the few times it felt like we were equals, when it felt like he wanted me just as much as I crave him.

There’s also a part of me that chases the boldness he pulls out of me. I do and say things around him I just know I’d never do or say around anyone else.

Like what I just did.

“Careful what you ask for. I could fuck you right here.”

I think he’s trying to shock me right back. Regain the upper hand. Holden is assuming the thought of having sex at school is unappealing to me.

And yeah, part of me is mortified by the prospect of a teacher or janitor catching us. But another part of me—a larger part of me—finds the prospect of having sex here incredibly arousing. It’s the exact opposite of what anyone would expect from me.

“The locker room is empty, right?”

Holden raises a brow at me. I raise one right back.

He’s looking at me exactly the way he used to when we were younger. When he’d suggest staying up later to watch one more movie and I’d put on the second one. When I’d make a crazy shot from the street, and he’d miss. Half approval and half incredulity.