I nod. I don’t fight it or pretend I’m okay—because I’m not. I hid a lot from him—I didn’t realize how much until right now, when it’s all spilling out into the open. Things that have nothing to do with Gray—aside from the fact that they’re things I told him and no one else. I hid how lonely I was in Boston. How draining school was. How my friends were all as driven as I was, so no one was ever telling me to take a break. How things with Logan never felt right.

I’m in a daze that makes mundane things disappear. Like how I get from the sidewalk to the car to being halfway home.

It’s a sigh that pulls me out of the fog. That makes me realize he’s about to speak. “Leigh-Le—”

“Can you take me to Mom and Dad’s, please?”

“Yeah. Sure.”

Noah doesn’t attempt to make conversation again. I’m the one who breaks the quiet when he pulls into our parents’ driveway.

“I need you to promise me something.”

He searches my face, then nods.

“I need you to promise you won’t let this affect your friendship with him.”

Noah starts shaking his head before I finish the sentence. “Evie, I can’t just—”

“You can. Me and him? It was me. All me. You’ve been best friends since you were seven. That means something.”

“You’re my sister. He can’t expect—”

I cut him off again. “It was sex, Noah. That’s it. We both agreed.”

He winces, then scoffs. “You think I don’t know how you feel about him? How you’ve always felt about him?”

“I hoped I wasn’t quite that transparent, yeah.”

He bangs his palm against the steering wheel. “Dammit, Evie.”

“I’m sorry,” I whisper.

“You don’t have anything to apologize for.” His tone makes it clear he holds someone responsible. And as much as it means to me, I know it’s wrong.

“Neither does he, Noah. He never lied to me. Never. He was thoughtful and sweet, and that was most of the problem. The reality was better than the fantasy.”

Noah sighs. “He’s…different with you. I’ve—I’ve seen him with plenty of other girls. Maybe you should talk to him.”

I shake my head. Not even the slightest twinge of hope appears. “I can’t. I’m so mad at him. And I don’t have any right to be, which just makes me madder. If we talk and he says he’s sorry and asks to be friends…I can’t do it.”

Noah sighs. “Okay. I’ll stay out of it. I won’t say anything to him. But he won’t be getting a welcome home party either.”