Back First Comes Love Save as PDF
Chapters (92)
  1. First
  2. Love Connection
  3. Zero
  4. One
  5. Two
  6. Three
  7. Four
  8. Five
  9. Six
  10. Seven
  11. Eight
  12. Nine
  13. Ten
  14. Eleven
  15. One Month Later
  16. Twelve
  17. Thirteen
  18. Fourteen
  19. Fifteen
  20. Six Months Later
  21. Sixteen
  22. Seventeen
  23. Eighteen
  24. Nineteen
  25. Twenty
  26. Twenty-one
  27. Twenty-two
  28. Twenty-three
  29. Twenty-four
  30. Six Months Later
  31. Twenty-five
  32. Twenty-six
  33. Twenty-seven
  34. Twenty-eight
  35. Twenty-nine
  36. Thirty
  37. Thirty-one
  38. Thirty-two
  39. Thirty-three
  40. I Have Never
  41. One
  42. Two
  43. Three
  44. Four
  45. Five
  46. Six
  47. Seven
  48. Eight
  49. Nine
  50. Ten
  51. Eleven
  52. Twelve
  53. Thirteen
  54. Fourteen
  55. Fifteen
  56. Sixteen
  57. Seventeen
  58. Eighteen
  59. Nineteen
  60. Twenty
  61. Twenty-one
  62. Twenty-two
  63. A Christmas Date
  64. One
  65. Two
  66. Three
  67. Four
  68. Five
  69. Six
  70. Seven
  71. Eight
  72. Nine
  73. Ten
  74. Eleven
  75. Twelve
  76. Thirteen
  77. Fourteen
  78. Fifteen
  79. Sixteen
  80. Seventeen
  81. Eighteen
  82. Nineteen
  83. Twenty
  84. Twenty-one
  85. Twenty-two
  86. Note from the Author
  87. Sneak Peek – To the Stars and Back
  88. Two
  89. Three
  90. Four
  91. Also by Camilla Isley
  92. About the Author

I walk out of the room steadily enough until I’m sure I’m out of sight, then like a drunk person, I brace myself on the walls of the hallway for support. I pinball from left to right until I reach my office, close the door and lock myself in, lowering all the blinds. Finally, I collapse on the couch usually reserved for making clients comfortable—or avoiding them fainting when I give them my invoice, I’m not sure—and cry my heart out.

The pain of losing Jake comes back to me in waves of shock and fear. I’m sobbing so hard I’m hyperventilating. Amelia was right: seeing her face has only made things worse. He did marry lawyer Barbie. Knowing this is the woman Jake goes back to every night, the one he makes love to, the one he has pillow talks with—and about me too, apparently—racks my body with an amount of sorrow I didn’t know I had in me. After missing Jake’s wedding, I thought I had it bad. But things moved on so quickly with Richard I never really contemplated how Jake was building a family with someone else. I’m nothing more than a distant memory, I’ve been reduced to the ex he tells amusing stories about.

The thought of that woman knowing things about me stings. It feels like such a violation of my privacy and tells me how little Jake holds dear our relationship—or the memory of our relationship, more accurately. It’s a betrayal. He doesn’t care anymore; I’ve become an anecdote to amuse his friends and wife over dinner. What did she say I was? Yeah, his significant ex. She should’ve said insignificant ex. Why does he still have the power to hurt me so badly? Why can’t I just stop loving him? Why can’t I love Richard the way I love Jake? And what am I doing marrying Richard, anyway? This is too much for one person to bear alone. I need to talk to Amelia.

Twenty-one

Is It Too Late to Say Sorry?

♥♥♥

Monday, March 5—London