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Back First Comes Love
Chapters (92)
  1. First
  2. Love Connection
  3. Zero
  4. One
  5. Two
  6. Three
  7. Four
  8. Five
  9. Six
  10. Seven
  11. Eight
  12. Nine
  13. Ten
  14. Eleven
  15. One Month Later
  16. Twelve
  17. Thirteen
  18. Fourteen
  19. Fifteen
  20. Six Months Later
  21. Sixteen
  22. Seventeen
  23. Eighteen
  24. Nineteen
  25. Twenty
  26. Twenty-one
  27. Twenty-two
  28. Twenty-three
  29. Twenty-four
  30. Six Months Later
  31. Twenty-five
  32. Twenty-six
  33. Twenty-seven
  34. Twenty-eight
  35. Twenty-nine
  36. Thirty
  37. Thirty-one
  38. Thirty-two
  39. Thirty-three
  40. I Have Never
  41. One
  42. Two
  43. Three
  44. Four
  45. Five
  46. Six
  47. Seven
  48. Eight
  49. Nine
  50. Ten
  51. Eleven
  52. Twelve
  53. Thirteen
  54. Fourteen
  55. Fifteen
  56. Sixteen
  57. Seventeen
  58. Eighteen
  59. Nineteen
  60. Twenty
  61. Twenty-one
  62. Twenty-two
  63. A Christmas Date
  64. One
  65. Two
  66. Three
  67. Four
  68. Five
  69. Six
  70. Seven
  71. Eight
  72. Nine
  73. Ten
  74. Eleven
  75. Twelve
  76. Thirteen
  77. Fourteen
  78. Fifteen
  79. Sixteen
  80. Seventeen
  81. Eighteen
  82. Nineteen
  83. Twenty
  84. Twenty-one
  85. Twenty-two
  86. Note from the Author
  87. Sneak Peek – To the Stars and Back
  88. Two
  89. Three
  90. Four
  91. Also by Camilla Isley
  92. About the Author

And it does turn out to be amazing. The place, the movie, the sky, the food, it’s all perfect. The theater is on top of a tall building with stunning panoramic views of London’s skyline, watching one of my favorite movies under the stars, is incredibly romantic. It almost feels like Richard bribed the sky to stay clear of clouds and wink down at us from a million sparkly dots.

We’re seated in beach-like chairs that don’t allow too much closeness, but it’s all right. I’m still debating where I want tonight to end. And being too close to Richard would be distracting. Every now and then, I throw a side-glance at him, taking in all the different expressions he makes that I still don’t know. The way his eyes sometimes pop in surprise or the grin pulling at his lips when he’s amused but not laughing yet. He’s a great guy who’s taken me on a perfect first date. Any girl should call herself lucky to be with him. So why can’t I stop categorizing him as plan B?

When the movie’s over, Richard leads me toward the elevators and we catch an empty one. As soon as the doors close, Richard’s lips are on mine. He presses me against the elevator’s back and lets go of me only seconds before the doors open again on the main floor. Well, he’s definitely not shy. I walk outside, confused, and follow him onto the street where we jump into another black cab.

On the taxi ride home, I’ve as much buzzing in my belly as in my brain. My lips are still swollen from the kiss, spreading tingles of excitement through me, but the excitement is verging on panic. I have so many questions fluttering in my brain. Like, when we get home should I invite Richard in? Am I ready for third base? Will I ever be ready? Is sex third base or is there a fourth? I always get confused by the bases.

All this second-guessing is weird because I’ve already been with another man after Jake. His name was Michael, and we dated for a year. So it’s not as if sleeping with Richard will be my first time with someone else after I broke up with Jake. Then why does it feel that way? Maybe because last time I’d deluded myself I was over Jake, whereas now I’m painfully aware that no matter how much time has passed, I’m still in love with him.

Richard chooses this moment to brush a thumb over my hand and all my rational thinking gets sidetracked. It feels, mmm, I’m… conflicted. This is one of those classic situations where body and mind—or heart in this case—don’t agree. Okay, let’s calm down and put the jigsaw pieces together.