“Woof.” Chevron lets out a grateful bark and takes her seat in the back of the car. She’s now the picture of a well-behaved, educated dog.

We say our last goodbyes to the crowd of parents and neighbors that has gathered around, hop in the car, and drive out of town. I can’t believe this break is finally over!

Blair keeps quiet for the whole of fifteen minutes before she puffs her cheeks full of air and blows it all out in one annoyed huff. “So, I guess we’re not talking about why Diego isn’t in the car with us, or why you’ve been avoiding me for the past two days?”

“Nope, I’m not touching that.”

“Are you all right, at least?”

“Super,” I snap.

“That’s total bullshit.”

“Woof,” Chevron agrees.

“Hey.” I stare in the rearview mirror. “I was the one defending you just moments ago; you should side with me.”

Chevron howls in response.

“What do you think that meant?” I ask Blair.

“That she is on your side, and because of that, she wants you to open up with us and tell us what the hell happened because it’s the best thing for you.”

“And you got all that from one howl.”

“Absolutely.”

“Awooooh.”

When I still keep quiet, Blair snaps, “Oh, come on, do I have to beg?”

“I can’t.” I shake my head. “It’s just too raw still.”

Blair thinks for a second. “Better or worse than when Bambi’s mother dies?”

“You can’t use Disney parents being killed off; it’s too sad, and against the rules.”

“Oh, we have rules?”

“Mmm-hmm. No Disney deaths.”

“Okay.” Blair concentrates on the road ahead for a couple of blocks. “Mmm… Better or worse than when Bridget Jones finally gets Daniel to sleep with her, and he discovers her granny underwear?”

Despite myself, I chuckle. “Worse. That wasn’t such a bad moment. Kind of cute and romantic, actually.”

“Yeah, it was cute. Hugh Grant was so hot in that scene.”

“Way too hot.”

“So… so… so… Aha!” Blair hoots. “Better or worse than when Kristen Wiig brings the bridal party to the Mexican restaurant before the dress rehearsal, and everyone ends up with food poisoning, and there aren’t enough restrooms in the dress shop, so Lillian ends up taking a dump in the middle of the street while wearing a wedding dress?”

I laugh at that. Bridesmaids is one of our favorite movies. “That was funny-tragic; my situation is tragic-tragic. But, yeah, you could say I feel as humiliated as if I’d just pooped in the middle of the street.”

“Why? What happened?”

“Diego and I had sex on Christmas Day.” I can’t bring myself to say we “made love,” even if that’s what it felt like. “And the next day he bailed on me without as much as a note and returned none of my calls afterward.”