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Back First Comes Love Save as PDF
Chapters (92)
  1. First
  2. Love Connection
  3. Zero
  4. One
  5. Two
  6. Three
  7. Four
  8. Five
  9. Six
  10. Seven
  11. Eight
  12. Nine
  13. Ten
  14. Eleven
  15. One Month Later
  16. Twelve
  17. Thirteen
  18. Fourteen
  19. Fifteen
  20. Six Months Later
  21. Sixteen
  22. Seventeen
  23. Eighteen
  24. Nineteen
  25. Twenty
  26. Twenty-one
  27. Twenty-two
  28. Twenty-three
  29. Twenty-four
  30. Six Months Later
  31. Twenty-five
  32. Twenty-six
  33. Twenty-seven
  34. Twenty-eight
  35. Twenty-nine
  36. Thirty
  37. Thirty-one
  38. Thirty-two
  39. Thirty-three
  40. I Have Never
  41. One
  42. Two
  43. Three
  44. Four
  45. Five
  46. Six
  47. Seven
  48. Eight
  49. Nine
  50. Ten
  51. Eleven
  52. Twelve
  53. Thirteen
  54. Fourteen
  55. Fifteen
  56. Sixteen
  57. Seventeen
  58. Eighteen
  59. Nineteen
  60. Twenty
  61. Twenty-one
  62. Twenty-two
  63. A Christmas Date
  64. One
  65. Two
  66. Three
  67. Four
  68. Five
  69. Six
  70. Seven
  71. Eight
  72. Nine
  73. Ten
  74. Eleven
  75. Twelve
  76. Thirteen
  77. Fourteen
  78. Fifteen
  79. Sixteen
  80. Seventeen
  81. Eighteen
  82. Nineteen
  83. Twenty
  84. Twenty-one
  85. Twenty-two
  86. Note from the Author
  87. Sneak Peek – To the Stars and Back
  88. Two
  89. Three
  90. Four
  91. Also by Camilla Isley
  92. About the Author

A painful grimace twists his features. “Because I never loved her the way I love you!” The heart that was hammering in my chest until a few seconds ago stops. “Since you left on Sunday, I haven’t been able to sleep, eat, work, think. You’re everywhere. I can’t stop thinking about you. Even if you refused to talk to me, I couldn’t wait to get to the office every day to see you, and I dread the time of day when I have to go home alone. Then when you didn’t show up today, I thought you were leaving, for good.”

“But I wasn’t.”

“This time or ever?”

“Are we talking about a job here or something else?”

“We’re not talking about a bloody job.”

“Richard.” I take another step forward. “I can’t promise everything will be perfect, that we’ll never argue or break up. And I don’t know if we’ll have a happily ever after. But I’m willing to risk my heart on that possibility. I’m in… one hundred percent.”

“What if I don’t want to get married?”

“I don’t want to marry you.” Okay, I might’ve doodled Blair Stratton more than once, but that doesn’t mean anything. “You haven’t even taken me on a real date yet.”

Someone in the background cheers. It could be Indira. Or Saffron. Or even Chevron for all I know.

“What if I don’t want to get married, ever?” Richard insists.

I sigh. “Do I want to get married at some point in my life? Yes. Would I consider not doing it for the right man? Seems so. I always thought I wanted a wedding. But I also wanted many other things that I’ve discovered were insignificant. So is a piece of paper more important than the real love of a real man? No. I watched my mother spend years in a marriage with no love. She stood by a man she didn’t love, but wouldn’t leave only to be proper. And that’s not what I want. If marriage is the one thing you can’t give me, I’d rather not have it and have everything else.”

“You say that now, but you’ll change your mind.”

“Maybe I will, maybe I won’t. Maybe you’ll change your mind.” He’s about to protest, but I anticipate him. “Let me finish. I spent my whole life mapping out every single step I should take. Engaged by twenty-nine, married by thirty, and two point five kids by thirty-five. Same goes for my career. Then my perfect plan crumbled in a single day. I lost the perfect job and the perfect-on-paper boyfriend and I’ve never been happier. I don’t want to plan anymore, I want to live.”

“What if it doesn’t work?”

“What if it does? Can you walk away without trying? ’Cause I sure can’t.”