If this was a chick flick, I’d be thoroughly enjoying watching the adventures of the female lead as she struggles to reach her one true love. But I’ve never been more aware of how much TV can make anything appear cool, when it’s not. Like riding on the back of a tractor. And this not being a movie, I’m not even sure it won’t all have been for nothing.

As the castle gets closer, I worry less about if I’m going to get there in time, and more about what Jake’s reaction will be. Does he still love me? What will he say? Will we look into each other’s eyes and run away into the sunset, holding hands? I hope he’ll look me only in the eyes, as the rest of my body can’t be much to look at right now. I probably smell too, and the hayride isn’t helping.

The tractor stops. “All right,” Mike shouts, killing the engine. “We’re here. I can’t go up the hill with this, but there’s the parking lot, and the entrance is just behind it.”

I hop off.

“You need help with the bag?” Mike asks.

“No, I’m fine, thank you,” I say, pulling my trolley bag off the hay. “Thanks again! You saved my life.”

“Good luck,” Mike yells, before restarting the tractor and blowing a dark cloud of exhaust on me. Just about all the freshening up I need.

I check the time on my phone; it’s already past six. The ceremony must be underway. There goes my plan of a discreet talk before everything started. I guess it’ll be “burst inside and yell in the middle of the ceremony” instead. I hurry up the hill, dragging my hand language behind me, and reach the castle’s entrance.

There’s a guy guarding the door.

“I’m sorry, madam, we’re closed for a private event today.”

“Yes, I’m here for the wedding,” I say nonchalantly.

The guy eyes me suspiciously. “You have an invitation?”

“Sure,” I lie, and open my trolley to pretend to look for it inside. “I can’t seem to find it right now… I’m already late. Is there any chance you could let me pass? The ceremony must’ve started by now.”

“I’m sorry, madam, I need to see an invitation before I can let you through.”