Thankfully Elias saved me from myself and spoke up. “I think we’re okay to put it on. We should be on this road for the next hour or so.”

“Oh, okay,” I said reluctantly. Suddenly, playing this audiobook felt like a life-or-death situation, but I just hit play and sat back.

It was what it was. If Elias turned out to be a homophobe, I’d ask to be on another team and that’d be the end of it.

Chapter 5

There was nothing to worry about.

From the first words, the story and the narration by Lin-Manuel Miranda enthralled us both. Every so often we would both grunt in approval or sympathy with Ari, the narrator, who was in the throes of discovering who he was. Growing into who he would be, and falling in love with his best friend. We were on our fourth day in the field, and as Elias started the truck and got on the road headed to lunch, he spoke while looking straight ahead. “Can we keep listening to Ari and Dante?”

We were about two-thirds into the book and I suspected that very soon Dante, Ari’s best friend, was going to tell him how he felt. My own coming out had been bittersweet. I’d decided to tell my parents after my dad came back from that last trip, which he never returned from. At that point it was more like the rainbow-colored elephant in the room, and I’d been sure my parents would be fine with it. It was just a matter of finally saying it out loud, making it real. But when my dad died, it became one more thing that would never be whole because he wasn’t there.

Elias cleared his throat, and I realized I’d never responded to his request.

“Sorry. I’ll start it. We only have like, two hours left, actually.”

“Eshi, we have about thirty minutes to the first site. We can listen until then.” There was a certain eagerness to his voice, and I wondered what Elias thought about the book. So far he’d said very little about it, but he listened intently, asking me to pause and repeat certain parts.

Would he be able to empathize with the helpless agony of knowing that saying the truth about yourself could cost you everything? Would he still be the kind and charming man I’d gotten to know in the past week if he knew I was like Ari and Dante?

I looked at him as he listened and tried to figure out the expression on his face. As the story unfolded, and the angst between Ari and Dante grew, Elias would grunt or grip the steering wheel, his brows knitted together. He looked…pained. As I observed his handsome profile, I wondered if Elias understood a lot more than I’d given him credit for.