I grabbed my stuff and checked my phone one final time before I took out the SIM card.

No messages.

I’d exchanged a few texts and calls with Elias asking how things were going in the last few days. He’d said they were all right, but hadn’t gone into too much detail. Today he’d finally said he unfortunately would not be able to see me.

I was disappointed—okay, more like gutted—but I’d done my best to be understanding. He needed to get his things in order. The plan was still for him to go to the States for school this fall, and I hoped it meant there was a chance for us as well. But I’d decided I needed to focus on myself, just as he was doing.

I’d told him I would be in New York after I talked to my mom, needing him to know I was ready for more. But even if it didn’t work out, what I got to have with Elias was amazing. Still, it would crush me to not see him ever again, and I wasn’t ready to think about that yet.

I headed to the door of the bedroom with my laptop in hand and gave Saba the SIM card with a sigh.

She clicked her tongue at my gloomy mood. “You must trust it will be okay.”

She’d spent the day giving me pep talk after pep talk. I was getting a little exasperated, but smiled when she hissed at my stank face. I was about to reassure her once again that I was fine when we heard a car at the gate. Shortly after, the headlights of Tefare’s old Lada were illuminating the dark yard.

I hefted it on my backpack and grabbed the tube, which held the rolled-up canvas I’d bought in the gallery at the Marquis. It cost me an arm and a leg, but it was the only thing I was taking back with me, other than a few pounds of coffee. I wasn’t counting the broken heart and career change plans that would also be coming home with me.

I went over to where Saba was standing, looking a little weepy.

“Saba,” I said, trying to convey a clear don’t do this. She sniffled, pulling me in for a tighter hug, and I let out a flustered laugh, almost ready to cry myself. “No no no, none of that. You’re coming to visit in December! Stop it!”

“Yes, I will see you and your mama for the holidays, but it’s been so nice to have you here.” She kissed my forehead and pulled back to look at me. “You’ve grown up so fine, Desta Joy. I’m so glad you finally came to see your other homeland. We want you back soon.”

I nodded, swallowing down tears, certain I would return. “I’ll be back.”