I chuckled at how annoyed she sounded. “Well, it’s not all rainbows and sunshine right now. Luce, Elias’s mother caught us kissing. He was going to tell them, but that was not how they should’ve found out.” I cringed, remembering Negash’s face when she saw us. “I have no idea if he’s going to be okay or what’s even happening. We had plans. I mean very tentative plans, but now I don’t know.”

She sighed on the speaker. “Shit. I’m sorry, hon. Do you think his family will be awful?”

“I don’t know,” I said, unsure. I knew one could never tell for sure how people would react to these things, but Elias’s family loved him. No matter how complicated things seemed, it was clear they adored him. “I hope not. He was going to talk to them tonight anyway; he just wanted me to meet them first. He’s accepted his spot at Columbia and so part of the plan was to come out to them as well. He didn’t want to leave with that secret.”

I heard Lucía’s wheel turning from seven thousand miles away. “He’s coming to New York? Desta, is that—”

“No, Lucía, I swear. This is about me. About what I want. I just told Mami before I called you. I need to do what makes me happy, Luce. I need to. Besides, Elias may not even be in New York this fall, not after how shitty things went tonight.”

“Okay, babe,” she said, clearly trying to appease me. “Of course, and you know you’re going to stay with us until you find a place.” I nodded like she could see me, but she didn’t wait for an answer, already full steam ahead with planning. Just like I knew she would be. “Actually, you know what? Let me talk to Norma from work—she mentioned her brother needed to sublet his place for the summer. He’s going to Spain for six months, and he’s up by me. I’ll email you.”

“Okay, sounds good,” I said, slightly less freaked out than I had been a few minutes before.

“So you’ll be here in a few weeks?” she asked, the excitement in her voice making my own resurface.

“In nine days. I have my trip tomorrow and come back the day before I leave. I have to go to DC and sort out some stuff, but I fly into JFK anyways, so I’ll stay for a few days to arrange the move.”

“Are you going to be able to see your guy before then?” She sounded worried and sad for me.

I shook my head as if she could see me. “I don’t know.”