When he had all our food out, we sat with our backs against a boulder, basking in the sun. From our spot we could see the sprawling city below. A hodge-podge of concrete, roads and mountains. Cars and buses weaving through mazes of tight cobblestone streets mixed with modern highways. It was quite the place. Addis Ababa. The New Flower. In my time here I’d grown to understand why my father loved this place as much as he did. And that connection to him was everything.

We ate our sandwiches and enjoyed the warm sun on our skin for a while. I was lying down on a blanket Elias had produced from his backpack and had my head pillowed on my folded jacket. I felt so content, I could’ve fallen asleep.

I was thinking that Elias still had not mentioned how it had gone with his parents the night before and was debating whether to ask when I saw him pull out a book from his backpack. He lay back propped on his elbow and started reading a poem out loud.

At first I didn’t recognize it, then realized he was reciting Langston Hughes. Of course he was. I closed my eyes with a smile on my lips and listened as he read quietly, his lilting accent bringing the familiar words to life for me in a completely new way.

When ma man looks at me,

He knocks me off ma feet.

He’s got those ’lectric-shockin’ eyes an’

De way he shocks me sho is sweet.

I let him finish the poem before opening my eyes, locking them with his. I let him see how much I was feeling the poem. Him. This moment.

My man.

God, I wish he could be. He disarmed me with how open he was, how tenacious. To take the chance to kiss or touch me when he could never really know what my intentions were. He couldn’t know for sure if I’d betray him. He just trusted I wouldn’t. I turned to him as he leafed through the book, my head brimming with questions.

“That night at Saba’s, why did you kiss me in front of her?” I asked, almost in a whisper, even though no one was close enough to overhear. I wanted to keep these words right in the space between us.

“Because you were waiting for my kiss, and I wanted to give it to you.”

I turned my face away, but not so much that he couldn’t see my smile. That was the truth, and he said it, and that’s where Elias would end me: he would never lie to me.

I had to be brave enough to tell the truth too. I had to tell Elias how I felt about him. Even if it was only that: just something I had to say.