I nodded sadly. “I can’t imagine how hard it is for you to see your dad suffer like that,” I said, looking up at his face, which had been happy a minute ago and now was marred with worry. “Things are changing in the States, but there is still a lot to do when it comes to mental illness. It’s not taken nearly as seriously as it should be. Society acts like it’s just something people should be able to ‘get over.’ It’s fucking ridiculous.”

Elias exhaled, and I could feel the tension in his shoulders. “It’s affected my family a lot. My dad is a pianist, but he stopped working or making music when I was in elementary school. Said he couldn’t do it anymore.” He shrugged, but I could tell how all this weighed on him. “My mom supported the family, for the most part. It’s too hard for him to stay in a job, so he feels useless because he doesn’t contribute financially to the home, though none of us care about that. He took great care of us growing up while my mom worked, but it’s hard for him to see that.”

I listened to him as I ran my hands up and down his thighs, which were on either side of mine, wanting to ease what was clearly painful for him. “I imagine there’s also the issue of the expectation for him to go to work and provide for the family.”

Elias nodded, holding me tighter. “Exactly. He always says he’s grateful for my mom, but I think he also resents the situation. When he’s really low, he becomes obsessed with the idea that he’s dying, and my mom either believes it or goes along with it to appease him. It’s a vicious cycle.” He gave a tired sigh. “That’s part of the reason why I deferred from Columbia. I didn’t want to leave her to deal with it on her own. My sister was living in Kenya for a few years and just came back. With her around, my mom has more support, and I can go to New York.”

That explained so much. I wanted to say more to ease his mind, but I had no idea what, if anything, could help. Still, I had to say something. “I know it may not be of much comfort now, but I think you made the right decision. This is too big of a chance to pass up, and you’ve earned it.”

He looked a bit unsure, but he bent his head to kiss me anyway. After a moment, he jumped as if something had startled him, then lifted his arm to look at his watch. “We have to hurry, or we will miss dinner with the group.”