Lord Seventh settled them in, and brought cakes to share with the two of them. Sitting off to one side, he excitedly started a game of chess with the man in black, whittling away time like this. At noon, the boss of the bank came in suddenly, and said to Lord Seventh, “Master Zhou has been located, and has arrived.”

Lord Seventh threw the chess game aside and stood, rescinding his pale hands back into his sleeves as he smiled cheerily, instructing, “One of life’s four greatest blessings is to bump into an old friend in a land far away from home. Ping An, hurry and invite him in.”

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T/N: Writing is hard work. Buy the original novel, if you haven't - if you're thinking "why should I? I can't read it anyway", well, this TL is already here for you. Pay the author, at the very least. http://www.jjwxc.net/onebook.php?novelid=912073

[1] 王八 refers to the softshell tortoise, but is also more commonly used as an insult.

[2] "shi" here refers to having "worldly ties" aka their families have had longstanding relationships.

[3] Translates to "heart's technique": Sort of like the path the student has to possess an understanding of to practice the sword technique. Usually inseparable from sword technique for wuxia manuals.

[4] idk the term NU tl used but this refers to guxiang

[5] Big brother: term of address for a man slightly older than you

[6] Actually Two 'Tao's Killing Three Gentlemen: To get rid of his three mighty generals as a preventive measure, a king makes them share two priceless peaches (桃, tao). The first two take the peaches, but the third, finding it unfair, reports his own accomplishments. Seeing that the third general is far more meritorious, the first two commit suicide out of shame. The third then kills himself out of regret at causing the deaths of the first two.

Here, Cao Weining probably confuses it with another saying 桃(tao)李(li)满天下, and erroneously substitutes 'tao' with 'li'.

[7] 逝者如斯夫 refers to time passing very quickly and implies that one should treasure the moment, but here Cao Weining uses it wrongly (again). 逝者 can refer to the deceased, and 如斯夫 a 'stream of men', so Cao Weining interprets the line to be referring to a river of corpses.

[8] 瘟神 literally translates to "god of plague" (ie. plague-bearer), but 瘟 (wen) is also a homophone for Wen Kexing's surname.

[9] Priest uses "呆若木鸡" (lit. 'dazed like a wooden chicken') and says that the 化成呆头鹅的 (lit. 'transformed into a dazed goose') waiter lets the plates slip and shatter.

[10] Basically "bros before hoes"

[11] Original quote from the poem is 夜来风雨声，花落知多少：When the wind and rain comes in the night, who knows how many flowers have fallen

[12] Refers to women (aka dying underneath a woman in the middle of sex).

[13] 画皮: A story from Strange Tales from a Chinese Studio (compiled 1740) about a merchant who brings a pretty woman home only to discover that she's a heart-eating demon who wears a suit of beautiful human skin.