Back Fake Like Me
Chapters (42)
  1. Cover
  2. Title
  3. Dedication
  4. Carey Logan Retrospective Coming to Young Museum
  5. 1996
  6. Chapter One
  7. 2011
  8. Chapter Two
  9. Prudence
  10. Chapter Three
  11. Chapter Four
  12. Chapter Five
  13. Chapter Six
  14. Humility
  15. Chapter Seven
  16. Chapter Eight
  17. Chapter Nine
  18. Chapter Ten
  19. Chapter Eleven
  20. Chapter Twelve
  21. Chapter Thirteen
  22. Chapter Fourteen
  23. Chapter Fifteen
  24. Chapter Sixteen
  25. Chastity
  26. Chapter Seventeen
  27. Modesty & Temperance
  28. Chapter Eighteen
  29. Purity & Obedience
  30. Chapter Nineteen
  31. Chapter Twenty
  32. Chapter Twenty-One
  33. Chapter Twenty-Two
  34. Chapter Twenty-Three
  35. Chapter Twenty-Four
  36. One Year Later
  37. Chapter Twenty-Five
  38. Acknowledgments
  39. Discover Barbara Bourland
  40. About the Author
  41. Also by Barbara Bourland
  42. Reading Group Guide

“It’s fine.” She gritted her teeth. “That’s his job. To make people love him. He’s—he’s too good at it, sometimes.”

Charlie appeared at the end of our row, all sorrow and regret, beckoning for Max with a furrowed brow. When Max stood I noticed that she was pregnant.

“Oh my gosh,” I said instinctively. “Congratulations. I didn’t even notice.”

“No, no, I’m carrying small, she could be a burrito,” Max said.

“She?”

“She.”

“Congrats,” I said. She straightened up, then looked at the ceiling to force a tear to dispel over the surface of her eye.

“Okay. I’m fine. It’s the hormones.”

“Don’t worry about the photo,” I told her, impulsively giving the forgiveness she so craved. I had a thought in the moment that if I were ungenerous, it would be bad for the baby. And—I signed the release. I did. I was young, and I didn’t know better, but I did it, and I profited from it, too, in one way or another. I can confess that, now. I should.

As Charles moved toward us, she took my hands with her tattooed fingers. “I think about it all the time. I think about it every day,” she said, urgently, squeezing my fingers. “I do. I do.”

I looked into her big blue eyes. “I don’t,” I told her. “Not anymore.” When her husband was only a few steps away, I took back my hands and walked in the other direction.

*  *  *

The galleries, unlocked after the end of the film, were already packed. I pushed my way through, holding my dress in one sweating fist, and found myself back in their wonderland, though Pine City themselves were nowhere to be seen. The whole atrium was filled with FORGIVE/FORGET, rotten flower petals coated the floor, and the ceiling was draped with one of Jack’s ethereal nets. Carey’s bronzed heart, broken in two, stood gleaming on a pedestal. Every room contained a central work of Carey Logan’s, mixed with those by the other members of Pine City. Side galleries, drawn with velvet curtains, showed recordings of Maria Clarke’s performance works. The DROP OUT piece was playing, separate from the documentary, in a side gallery, and there was already a long line of people who wanted to watch it again.

Then I saw a flash of pink and green.

Prudence.

She was on loan from a British collector. The wall text said she was the last piece of art made at Pine City. I reached up and touched her. This time, nobody stopped me. Instead, someone asked me to turn around and smile so that they could take my picture.

That’s when I saw him in the crowd, watching me, in that same threadbare tuxedo. People were speaking to him urgently, tugging at his jacket. He kept his eyes on me, didn’t acknowledge anyone else, and pointed toward the exit.