‘I don’t follow you,’ the doctor says gently, as though prepared for a shocked patient gabbling nonsensically.

‘This. All of this . . . bringing people here with no expectation of how they would react and . . . Safa was right . . . I had to disconnect . . .’

‘Yes, yes indeed,’ Doctor Watson says, letting him vent his grief.

‘Oh fuck, what have I done?’

‘You must not carry the personal responsibility for the decisions made by others—’

‘Fuck off,’ Ben snaps, shifting his legs over the edge of the bed. ‘I’ve killed them . . . I fucking killed them . . .’

‘Ben, you did not kill them. The storm did that. You must rest. Please, get back into bed and I’ll give you something to help you sleep.’

‘I’ll kill him.’ Ben seethes with anger, pulling his grey tracksuit off and stripping naked in front of the doctor without registering the bloke is still there. ‘I’ll bloody kill him,’ he mutters, reaching down to pick up his black clothes, still folded neatly on the floor, and tugging them on.

‘Ben, the shock is expected, but you’re still healing. You must rest.’

‘Safa was right. I had to disconnect but I didn’t. I wallowed in self-pity like a selfish fucking twat . . . Jesus Christ, what have I done? Why did he let them go back?’

‘Ben, please . . .’

He gets the boots on, lacing up quickly before striding towards the open door with the doctor in hot pursuit, pleading for him to go back and rest.

‘Ben, you must listen . . .’

Ben gets through the door and into the corridor, heading down into the main room with a thunderous rage building in his gut.

‘ROLAND?’

‘Ben, stop this.’ The doctor bustles behind him.

‘ROLAND, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?’ Ben roars louder as his mind finally awakens to where he is and what should have been done. Roland was right when he said he didn’t have a clue. The man is incompetent beyond words and because of that Ben was allowed to get so bad he needed a beating to snap him out of it, and his own stupid selfish stubbornness made him keep getting back up when Harry was begging him to stay down. Harry hurt him, but every punch he gave was deserved. Ben caused this. He made this happen. He made them go for that doctor and he made them die and that cannot be forgiven, but it was Roland that brought them here and Roland that didn’t factor in the reactions people would have, and it was Roland that let them go back to get the doctor.

Through the next doors and Roland walking towards him with a conciliatory smile on his face. ‘Ah Ben, I am glad you’re up—’

‘You fucking prick,’ Ben snarls, closing the distance between them.