Chapters (45)
- Title Page
- Copyright Page
- Contents
- Prologue
- 2046
- One
- Two
- Three
- Four
- Five
- Six
- Seven
- Eight
- Nine
- Ten
- Eleven
- Twelve
- Thirteen
- Fourteen
- Fifteen
- Sixteen
- Seventeen
- Eighteen
- Nineteen
- Twenty
- Twenty-One
- Twenty-Two
- Twenty-Three
- Twenty-Four
- Twenty-Five
- Twenty-Six
- Twenty-Seven
- Twenty-Eight
- Twenty-Nine
- Thirty
- Thirty-One
- Thirty-Two
- Thirty-Three
- Thirty-Four
- Thirty-Five
- Thirty-Six
- Thirty-Seven
- Thirty-Eight
- Thirty-Nine
- About the Author
He fires faster. Plucking the trigger to fill the air with the booming explosions and feeling the jolt carry through his body. He sees Safa’s face imploring him and the feel of her hand within his grip as he pushed her down the corridor. His cheeks still sting but he deserved it. He fires and switches guns to fire again as Steph’s image fills his mind. The last time he saw her was in their bedroom. They had sex that night. Fuck me, Ben. Fuck me harder. She took her towel off then got cross with him when he got turned on. He will never see her again. He will never go back. He is dead. He fires and fires. The bullets hit the centre. He twitches and aims for the outside rings, striking home. The depression rushes back in. He turns and aims for Safa’s target. Firing at an angle and finding he can still hit the bit he is aiming for and feeling irritated that he is good at it. He shouldn’t be good at anything.
It goes black inside again. Safa’s face morphing with Steph’s who was cross with him that morning.
He becomes lost to his own misery and slides down to a darkness of mood that doesn’t abate but gets deeper and worse and he can’t stop it. He wants to stop it. He does not want to be here but he doesn’t want to fail Safa either. Why did she offer herself like that last night? He fires with tears tracking down his face and he fires until the sobs threaten to come and for a second he wants them to come so he can let the emotion out.
Except the emotion doesn’t come out. It goes away and he becomes numb once again.
I hate it here.
I can’t stay here.
I don’t belong.
Twenty-Eight
Twenty-Eight
She wakes naturally from a body clock honed from years of discipline. That and the tablet device bleeping softly on the table next to her bed.
She gets her legs over the side and reaches down to slide the screen, silencing the alarm. Another day. A new day. She stands and stretches, feeling the pull of muscles worked hard and the pay-offs of good food and solid sleeps. That she is in the best physical shape of her life is not missed, but the sadness inside overshadows everything else.
It was two days ago when the words fell from her mouth in the corridor and she winces at the thought of it. Be my Ben Ryder. She has tried everything. I want to be with Steph. Of everything, that hurts the most. Ben doesn’t know what Steph did though. She wanted to tell him right then at that point but still she held back.