Chapters (45)
- Title Page
- Copyright Page
- Contents
- Prologue
- 2046
- One
- Two
- Three
- Four
- Five
- Six
- Seven
- Eight
- Nine
- Ten
- Eleven
- Twelve
- Thirteen
- Fourteen
- Fifteen
- Sixteen
- Seventeen
- Eighteen
- Nineteen
- Twenty
- Twenty-One
- Twenty-Two
- Twenty-Three
- Twenty-Four
- Twenty-Five
- Twenty-Six
- Twenty-Seven
- Twenty-Eight
- Twenty-Nine
- Thirty
- Thirty-One
- Thirty-Two
- Thirty-Three
- Thirty-Four
- Thirty-Five
- Thirty-Six
- Thirty-Seven
- Thirty-Eight
- Thirty-Nine
- About the Author
‘Right.’ He blinked and smiled again. ‘But what if you didn’t have a piss? One of you has a piss and the other brushes her teeth and the other uses the shower and the other decides to go for a run and another decides to take a shit on Harry’s bed and—’
‘What?’ She laughed.
‘You get what I mean? You do one thing but anything you could possibly do is still done but by infinite yous . . . and it stretches off infinitely. Like every person that ever lived all having infinite variations of every possible decision and every possible way of living. So . . . the you now and here’ – he waved her hand again – ‘goes back and kills the baby you but who knows if it is the baby you from you now or the baby you from another you? Make sense?’
‘Not one word,’ she said.
‘In which case,’ he said, ‘I cannot answer your question.’
‘Well, thanks for trying,’ she said, thrilled at seeing him back.
‘Welcome,’ he said.
A pause. A hesitancy. A sudden awareness of near nudity and the darkness of the room. She is beautiful. Stunning. Flawless. He is not worthy. He is haggard and weak.
She saw it happen. She saw the change and swallowed to cough. ‘Er . . . so . . .’ She saw him slipping and the dark shadow crossing his face. Her mind raced to think of something to continue the conversation but it was too late. She hesitated too long. ‘Thanks,’ she said instead.
He nodded. His eyes once more devoid of that spark.
‘Much clearer.’ She smiled and stood up. ‘I’ll come back if I get stuck again.’
‘Okay.’
‘Night, Ben.’ She crossed to the door, wondering if his eyes were watching her backside. She turned at the threshold to glance back but couldn’t tell if he was looking her way or not.
That night gave the hope. He came back. Not for long but it proved the proper Ben was still there. It was a magical few minutes and an experience that stayed with her over the next weeks.
It stayed with him too, and it made him worse. He’d felt alive for the first time in months but that made him feel guilty. He also saw her body and felt the reaction inside and that made the guilt multiply a hundredfold. How dare he feel alive? How dare he even consider looking at Safa that way? Steph was having an affair. Steph was leaving him. He is dead. He is worthless. He is nothing.
It was also that night of hope that made Safa cry for the first time since arriving.