Landry shrugs. “I know that sounds stupid. But I was so scared. So we had a secret. We … learned things. We read things online and watched videos. I started taking vitamins and cooking a lot of vegetables. I read about cloth diapers and Lamaze breathing techniques. And I wanted to tell you all, but the longer I went without telling you, the harder telling you seemed. Until suddenly I was six months pregnant.” Landry sniffles again, and Penn gives her a clean tissue. “I had a little pooch by then, so I started wearing baggier clothes. Borrowing Beckett’s sweaters. I knew I’d have to tell you all soon. And I was going to. But then the baby came early. And she wasn’t breathing.”

Landry breaks into heaving sobs again, and Mom pulls her into a hug. I don’t know what to do, so I get up for more coffee, even though I don’t really want any. I just want to hold a warm mug.

Landry is hiccuping when I get back into the living room. Trying to get control of her tears. I sit on her other side this time, sandwiching her on the couch between my mother and me.

“Okay, let’s back up a little,” Mom says. “Why were you at the high school that day?”

“For the eighth-grade tour,” Landry says. “Because we’re going to go to school there next year. They take half of us for a tour in December, and half in February. Norah and I were in the first half.” She frowns up at our mom. “You signed the permission form.”

Mom’s eyes close and she takes a deep breath. She hasn’t touched her coffee yet. “Of course I did. And then I promptly forgot what day the trip was.” She opens her eyes. “I’m so sorry, hon.”

My mother forgot about the trip, and I never even knew about it, because I took a mental health day that Friday. I have no idea what Penn’s excuse is.

“So, they took you to the high school on a school bus?” Mom says, gently urging her to continue.

Landry nods. “During second period. We were supposed to tour the school and have lunch in the cafeteria, before the high school kids have their lunch. But my back had been hurting all night, the night before. Then my stomach started cramping early that morning. A lot. I didn’t realize it might be labor until we were already at the high school, but it was too early. I hadn’t told anyone yet. So I couldn’t call an ambulance.”

“Oh, Landry,” my mother says. “You should have called me.”