So I told the truth. That it was a shock. And very sad. And the whole time she was making me remember that, I kept glancing at Amira. I could hardly see her through the bright lights, but all I could think about was that I might be talking about my best friend’s baby. My brother’s baby. I was thinking about how I didn’t really have any right to do that, no matter what Audrey Taylor asked me.

Then she asked if I’d like to address the rumors that I’m actually the baby’s mother. At which point I realized there was nothing stopping me from reminding her that I hadn’t agreed to talk about any of that.

According to Amira, they didn’t air that part. But evidently what they did show was enough to bring at least a thousand people to the vigil. And there’s no way all these people are from Clifford.

Of course, the fact that the Crimson Cryer also tweeted about the vigil—and retweeted my stupid interview—probably didn’t hurt the turnout either.

“Hey! There you are!” Sophia Nelson appears out of the crowd, carrying a canvas bag over her shoulder. “Here you go!” She digs into the bag and pulls out a candle for each of us, complete with our homemade paper plate drip shields. “We’re not giving out matches, obviously. We’re just going to light our own candles, then spread through the crowd and let everyone else light their wicks from ours.”

“That seems wise,” Amira says over the buzz of dozens of low-pitched conversations.

But I’m hardly listening. I’ve just realized that not all this light is from the streetlamps. There are journalists here, from several different stations. They have lights of their own, aimed at on-air reporters who’re shooting intro pieces with their backs to the crowd.

“Reporters.” I told Sophia this would happen. But she’s mistaken my dread for the triumph this moment has evidently brought her.

“This is because of your interview!” She grabs my hand, her eyes wide, and continues to speak in high-pitched exclamations. Like the yip of a small dog. “Thank you for helping us shine the light on Clifford! You made such a difference!”

Is that what I did?

“Sophia.” I squeeze her hand until I see the excitement in her eyes die. Until she’s back on earth with me, hopefully able to really hear what I’m saying. “Don’t forget that this is for that baby.”