Frederick was in a difficult situation. He was living with his wife and child in his family home, which was safe and comfortable despite his parents’ inhospitable treatment. He was beholden to his father for employment, knowing he would be at the helm of the company one day even though he hated the work he was doing and the business he would eventually own. It seemed as though the practical aspects of his life—steady housing and income—were both severely compromised by the degree of unhappiness that came along with them. Yes, his parents were sparing him from a life of destitution in Boston, but the very things he feared about the move had come to fruition. He wasn’t thriving at his job, his father still didn’t embrace him, and his mother didn’t accept his wife.

Elinor later shared with her niece Hope Taylor that when she lived in Göttingen, she had to double-check the word for “black” in German because that’s how often Margarete would say it. She told Hope that one time she could hear her mother-in-law telling someone on the phone that she had a “nigger” in her house.26

It was a hopeless situation for Elinor. She was on her own while Frederick worked. The only time she had adult conversation was when he returned from the office. She picked up as much pidgin German as she could and learned to cook Bavarian food on her own to pass the time. She eventually would make excellent German meals—but it wasn’t because Margarete taught her.

The move to Germany turned out to be terrible. Frederick and Elinor had a nice place to live, but that was the only improvement in their lives. It was inevitable that Elinor became depressed in such an alienating environment. It was becoming clear that she couldn’t stay there for much longer.

A part of her still wanted to believe that she and Frederick could make it work for financial reasons. And Elinor soon discovered she was pregnant with their second child. The two knew, though, that their marriage was suffering. “I think Elinor would have left Frika had they remained in Germany,” said Charlotte. Frederick realized that too. He was in love with his wife and he hated seeing her unhappy. Instead of fighting with his mother or demanding more respect from his father, he would leave. That was what he and Elinor had agreed on before they left the United States. Moving was becoming a survival mechanism for them. If wherever they landed didn’t work out, they would pack up and venture to a new destination.