“Why don’t you apply for a student loan?” I knew the face he was making, even when I couldn’t see him. It was the same face I’d made when I’d realized I needed to borrow money from someone if I wanted to finish my degree—exactly the same face since we were identical twins.

“PS, I did apply, and do you know what they told me?”

“What?”

“Hold on, hold on, let me grab the paper.” I hung off my bed and stretched until the tips of my fingers made contact with the wadded-up ball I’d tossed earlier. I couldn’t quite grab it. “Fuck it, I can’t reach it, and I’m not getting up. It landed too close to the no-no spider zone. I’ll paraphrase. It said, ‘Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. You loser. Ha. Go beg your rich-ass parents for money because you suck. Next time, don’t be an idiot. Once you leave the closet, there’s no going back. The end, buh-bye now. Yours truly, Ha!’”

“Ouch. That’s pretty harsh.”

“It hurt my feelings.”

Asher sighed. “All right. Let me try to talk to them. I can’t promise anything.”

“I know. But I’d appreciate any effort.”

“I’m walking on thin ice, Atti. Do you know how many times Mom’s asked if I’m gay too? Dad keeps watching me like I’m going to start barfing rainbows. I feel like they’re ready to kick me out just because we share DNA.”

“I’ve done that once.”

“What?”

“Barfed rainbows, but I may have eaten too many Skittles before chugging a twenty-sixer of vodka. Bad scene. I don’t recommend it. I tasted the rainbow all right. It wasn’t half as fruity and fun coming out.”

“You’re right.”

“I usually am. About what?”

“You aren’t ready to be an adult.”

“I know! I’m not. Twenty-one is the new twelve. Let me come home. Puuleezz.”

“Leave it with me. I’ll try.”

“We could Google mind-altering potions, but you’d need to front me the money so I could buy the ingredients. I’d make it. All you’d have to do is put a few drops in their morning coffee and implant new memories. Make them good ones. In fact, while you’re eliminating the bad stuff, maybe you could make Mom forget about that time she walked in on me jacking off. I swear, I’m scarred for life because of that.”

Asher groaned. “Atti, are you really that broke?”

“It’s not good.”

“Do you have enough to eat?”