He squeezed my arm and was gone. When I called after him, he didn’t turn around. Head down like he was on a mission, he darted for the elevator and left.

Chapter Ten

IT WAS NICE TO have a hotel room all to myself that night, but I didn’t sleep a wink. After Asher left and I’d spent a good forty-five minutes in a hot shower, scrubbing my brother’s cum off my chest while shaking so badly my knees knocked, I lay in bed, staring bug-eyed at the ceiling, surrounded by the smell of sex.

The evening’s activities played on repeat in my head over and over and over. I dissected every word Asher said as Ender and asked myself a million times if he was acting or not. He claimed he got carried away. I know I had. There was no other explanation for why I’d let him keep going. Why I’d encouraged him rather than stopping him. Why I hadn’t spoken out when he’d shoved my underwear down and kept rutting against me naked as the day we were born.

That little voice in the back of my head whispered the real truth of the matter, but I wasn’t ready to listen. Fear knotted my stomach. Admitting I’d enjoyed any of it was wrong. Owning up to the fact that I might have wanted him to keep going made me a pervert.

I wished I knew Asher’s stance on it all. He’d been freaked out when he left. Apologetic. Squirmy. Distraught.

We had a week before we had to be in the studio. This was a terrible time for this to happen. What if he never wanted to see my face again? What if we’d ruined our friendship?

I felt nauseous when I considered never speaking to my brother again. He was my best friend, the only person with whom I felt safe sharing my innermost secrets. We’d been there for each other since day one. I trusted him like no other.

Rolling to my side, I watched as the day dawned outside the window. Tired and confused, I crawled from the bed once the sun was up and collected my things, including the remaining beer and the keys to the Jag.

It was Friday. I had two classes to muddle through and a weekend to figure this shit out.

Except Asher wasn’t available. He had a date tonight and plans on Saturday.

My stomach curdled.

I checked my phone. It was almost eight in the morning. No text from Asher.

My first class was at nine, so I pocketed my phone and headed to the elevator, turning in the room key as I passed the front desk in the lobby.