Asher pulled into the parking lot at the Thai restaurant. It was long past the dinner hour, so the wait for our takeout was minimal. We stayed in the car, listening to tunes until it was ready. Asher kept the volume too high to make conversation possible—another indication of his nervous state, but I refused to draw attention to it.

With our food collected, Asher drove back to the same hotel we’d stayed in before. “Did you bring clothes to spend the night?” he asked as he killed the engine.

“Yeah. Did you?”

“Yeah.” He wiped his palms on his jeans and stared at the front entrance of the building.

“Shall we?”

Asher gave a jerky nod and followed me out of the car. We collected our food and bags and headed inside to get a room. My legs complained the whole way, screaming at me for being an idiot. Asher noticed me walking funny and laughed, shaking his head.

While Asher paid, I wondered what the woman behind the desk thought we were up to or if us being there again, getting a room with only one bed registered with her at all. I supposed we were family, and family often roomed together. Maybe she didn’t see anything wrong with it. Or maybe she’d seen so much crazy shit in her life our incestuous adventure was mild.

We were on the first floor at the end of a long corridor. Asher keyed us into the room and held the door open for me. It was dark, so I hit the light switch and made my way in. The room wasn’t anything fancy, but it served a purpose. It had a bed, a shower, and a lock on the door.

I dropped my bag on the floor and unloaded our takeout on the TV stand, pulling out the paper plates and plastic cutlery we’d requested.

Asher left his gym bag on the floor by the bed and joined me, filling a plate with food. We settled together on the bed to eat. There was a strange vibe in the air.

Anticipation.

Eagerness.

Uncertainty?

“Wanna shower with me when we’re done?” I asked, hoping to ease Asher’s nerves.

He frowned. “I showered at the gym.”

“So. That’s not the point, Ash.”

He glanced up from his plate with dawning realization. “Oh. Okay. Yeah.”

“We don’t have to do this.” I felt like it was my brotherly duty to remind him one last time that he could back out, and I would understand.

“I want to.” He held my gaze, and I knew he meant it. “I-I brought the stuff.”

“Good.”

He set his plate down and studied his hands before blurting, “I have no clue what I’m doing.”

“I know.”

“I watched more porn.”

I laughed. “Good. That’s a start. Don’t worry about it.”

“Am I gay? I keep wondering if I am now.”