“What the hell am I gonna do? I can’t watch straight porn! It makes me squirmy, and it’s the biggest boner-killer out there.”

“Finish this year at least. After all the work you’ve put in, it would be stupid to let it go now. So what if you can’t pay for your last year right now? Find more work this summer. Full-time work or something that pays better. Stay here and save your money. You’ll earn enough in no time. Then re-enroll and finish. You might end up behind a bit, but that’s not a huge deal.”

“I’ll never get my master’s, will I?”

Before Aaron could answer, Mrs. Santiago hollered down the stairs. “Dinner’s ready!”

I cringed, and Aaron reached for the doorknob. “Are you gonna eat with us?”

A stampede of running feet and elevated voices marked the beginning of mealtime at the Santiagos’ house. Kids raced to be the first to sit and fill their plates. Knowing what a shared meal entailed, I shook my head. “I’ll make ramen noodles later.”

“Suit yourself.”

Once Aaron was gone, I lay on my bed, listening to the madness of dinner time. If it wasn’t one thing, it was another. The stink of my own gas-infused body got me moving. I shed my clothes and hopped in the shower, scrubbing the scent off my skin.

Back in the small bedroom, I found a pair of sweatpants and sat on my bed, propped against the wall with my laptop on my lap. My intention was to study for my test, despite what I’d told Aaron, but I couldn’t shake the desperate urge to fix my situation.

I needed money.

I hadn’t heard from Asher, but I wasn’t shocked. He was probably busy with his own studies. We attended the same university, but I rarely saw him unless we planned to meet up. He was on a separate campus most of the time, and our programs didn’t jibe at all. We had no similar classes and all different friends. As close as we were, university had thrown a wedge between us. My decision to come out had only added more distance.

I missed my brother.

Instead of texting and bothering him, I pulled up Google. Not expecting viable results, I typed How to make lots and lots of money. I was being petulant and moody.

The first few results were exactly what I expected. “Join research studies” or “Get paid for your useless trivia knowledge.” I clicked that one, thinking it was a place seeking game show contestants or something similar. Nope.

The results got lamer and lamer as I scrolled. Tutors. Sperm donation. “Take our surveys and earn money now!” “Get skinny for money.” I stared at my flat abs and scrolled on. There was no weight to be lost, hence, no money to be made.