Anthony      I’m very good at doing make-up. I used to do it for my mother at the weekends … And still she was surprised I turned out homosexual … Now – let’s sort ourselves out here.

He manoeuvres her chair to distance it from the mirror. Then he picks up the stool from elsewhere in the room and places it between her and the dressing table, so that he is facing her.

Okay then – I want you to just look straight ahead and don’t move a muscle.

Judy      That’s what Minnelli used to say before we had sex.

Anthony (chuckling)      At least you were having sex. The rest of us are not in such demand. But then again, I suppose you’ve had enough for both of us.

Judy      That’s because I’m so very good at it.

Anthony      So I’ve heard.

Judy      God, yes. I’m an animal in the bedroom. There’s just nothing I won’t do.

Anthony      Believe me – your reputation precedes you.

Judy      It does? … Is that a good thing?

Anthony      Not if you were planning a white wedding.

He takes up a make-up sponge and applies some foundation to it. He waits for her to close her eyes.

… Judy, I can’t do this unless we have our eyes closed.

Judy      He used to say that before we had sex too!

Anthony      … I’m waiting.

She shuts her eyes and he applies the foundation to her face.

As he does so, they continue to talk.

We could do this every night, if you wanted. Meet an hour before the show and I could – help make you beautiful.

Judy      You can do that in an hour?

Anthony      Don’t you believe in miracles?

Judy      No. Only gravity … My chin and tits are in a race to my knees.

He looks horrified by this comment. He re-gathers himself.

Anthony      … Let’s talk about ‘nice’ things, shall we? You know – flowers, trees … the ballet.

Judy      Men in tights?

Anthony      Precisely. A thing of beauty we can both appreciate. Did you ever meet Nureyev?

Judy      Darling, I’ve met everybody. Or to be correct – everybody’s met me.

Anthony      They have ballet at the Coliseum. I’m very well acquainted with the chap who runs the cloakroom. I’m sure he could steal us a couple of tickets for your night off.

Judy (heavily sarcastic)      I have a night off?! Jesus – surely that’s some kind of mistake?

Anthony      Mr Delfont’s generosity is boundless … Now – eye shadow. Which do you want to use?

Judy      Something to bring out the colour of my eyes.

He examines the palette of colours.

Anthony      … You don’t seem to have it in ‘bloodshot’…!

Judy      Oh, be nice to me.

Anthony      I’m only teasing. By the time I’m finished, you’ll hardly recognise yourself.