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End of the Rainbow

Peter Quilter is recognized to be one of the most widely produced young playwrights in the world. His work has been produced in thirty-six countries and translated into twenty-three languages. His plays have been presented in major theatres in cities as diverse as Sydney, Amsterdam, Berlin, Johannesburg, Warsaw, Chicago, Caracas, Helsinki, Budapest, Rome, Montreal, Madrid, Rio de Janeiro and London.

He began his career in 1999 with the pop industry comedy BoyBand which played a summer season at the Gielgud Theatre in London’s West End before travelling to Holland, Denmark, Poland, Slovakia, Estonia and South Africa. His work since then has ranged from female monologues (Just the Ticket) to farces (Curtain Up) musicals (The Canterville Ghost) and dramas (Celebrity).

In addition to the worldwide success of End of the Rainbow, Peter has also enjoyed international acclaim for his comedy Glorious! (the True Story of Florence Foster Jenkins, the Worst Singer in the World). The show played a six-month run at London’s Duchess Theatre in 2006 starring Maureen Lipman and was nominated for the Olivier Award for Best New Comedy. Glorious! has since played in over a hundred theatres across six continents.

Peter is also the writer of the popular and award-winning 2009 comedy Duets – an evening comprised of four different plays, each performed in a tour de force by the same two actors. In 2011, he wrote two new plays – The Nightingales (a nostalgic musical based around a theatrical family in the 1950s) and The Morning After (a modern comedy set entirely in a bedroom).

Peter Quilter

End of the Rainbow

End of the Rainbow

To Felix
For everything

End of the Rainbow was first performed in this revised version in the UK at Royal & Derngate, Northampton on 5 February 2010, Artistic Director Laurie Sansom, Chief Executive Martin Sutherland, and received its first performance in the West End at Trafalgar Studios, London on 22 November 2010 presented by Lee Dean, Jenny Topper, Laurence Myers, Charles Diamond, Hilary Williams and David Bailey for Pinstripe Productions.

Director  Terry Johnson

Set and Costume Design  William Dudley

Lighting Design  Simon Corder

Sound Design  Gareth Owen

Musical Supervision  Gareth Valentine

The production received its North American premiere at the Guthrie Theater, Minneapolis on 28 January 2012, Artistic Director Joe Dowling. It featured the following cast and creatives:

Director  Terry Johnson

Set and Costume Design  William Dudley

Lighting Design  Christopher Akerlind

Sound Design  Gareth Owen

Musical Supervision/

Musical Arrangements  Gareth Valentine

Orchestrations  Chris Egan

Musical Director/Conductor  Jeff Harris

Stage Manager  Mark Dobrow

Assistant Stage Manager  Rachel Zack

End of the Rainbow opened on Broadway at the Belasco Theatre on 2 April 2012, presented by Lee Dean, Laurence Myers, Joey Parnes, Ellis Goodman, Chase Mishkin, Shadowcatcher Entertainment/Alhadeff Productions, National Angels U.S. Inc., Charles Diamond/Jenny Topper, Myla Lerner/Barbara & Buddy Freitag, Spring Sirkin/Candy Gold, Hilary Williams and S.D. Wagner, John Johnson in association with the Guthrie Theater.

Director  Terry Johnson

Set and Costume Design  William Dudley

Lighting Design  Christopher Akerlind

Sound Design  Gareth Owen

Orchestrations  Chris Egan

Musical Arrangements  Gareth Valentine

Music Direction  Jeffrey Saver

Music Coordinator  Seymour “Red” Press

Production Stage Manager  Mark Dobrow

Stage Manager  Rachel Zack

Characters

Judy Garland, American, late forties, but looking much older

Mickey Deans, her American fiancé – early thirties

Anthony, her English pianist, fifties/sixties

Radio Interviewer

Porter

ASM

It is Christmas 1968. A suite at the Ritz Hotel in central London.

Song List

‘I Can’t Give You Anything but Love’ (Fields/McHugh)

‘I Belong to London’ (Anonymous)

‘Just in Time’ (Comden/Green/Styne)

‘For Me and My Gal’ (Goetz/Leslie/Meyer)

‘You Made Me Love You’ (Monaco/McCarthy)

‘The Trolley Song’ (Martin/Blane)

‘The Man that Got Away’ (Arlen/Gershwin)

‘When You’re Smiling’ (Goodwin/Shay/Fisher)

‘Come Rain or Come Shine’ (Arlen/Mercer)

‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’ (Arlen/Harburg)

Act One

Scene One

(Note: In this scene, although there are negative moments, the general feeling is optimistic and playful.)

A suite at the Ritz Hotel in London. A piano upstage centre. A stack of suitcases and a touring trunk. A pool of light reveals Anthony at the piano. He plays a few bars of music – a gentle, quiet version of ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’. He hears voices in the corridor (ad lib Judy and Mickey) and stops playing. Wanting to surprise Judy, he exits into the bathroom. The door opens and in walks Judy, surveying the room. She switches on the lights.

Judy      It’s smaller.

Enter Mickey, carrying a briefcase and an overnight bag.

Mickey      No, it isn’t. They’re all the same size.

Judy      How would you know?

Mickey      Because I asked.

Judy      Then they lied to you. I’ve stayed here before. This room has shrunk

Mickey      You remember the room? Half the time you don’t know what city you’re in.

Judy      It’s the little things I remember, not the big picture.

Mickey      Let’s not debate this.

Judy      It’s a room for midgets.

Mickey      Can we change the subject?

Judy      Oh, darling, that’s fine. Change what you like, I can carry on by myself for hours.

Mickey      Sure you can. But I know how to shut you up.

He grabs her and gives her a long kiss on the lips.

Judy      … Will you marry me?

Mickey      We already had that conversation.

Judy (looking at her engagement ring)      Oh yes, so we did.

Mickey      … You need to unpack.

Judy      Oh honey, I don’t do that. I have people.

Mickey      Not any more you don’t.

Judy      Oh. (Looking at his groin.) Well, then I think it might be time for you to unpack.

Mickey      Judy!

Judy      I just want to make sure nothing else in this hotel has shrunk.

She gets on her knees and is undoing Mickey’s zipper when the bathroom door opens and Anthony steps out.

Anthony      Hello!

Judy (surprised)      Anthony!

Both are shocked. She gets to her feet and Mickey does up his zipper.

Judy      … Is this your room?

Anthony      No, it’s yours. I was in the bathroom.

Judy      You’re sleeping in the bathroom? We have to pay you more.

Anthony      Please. They let me in to check the piano.

Judy      It’s been for ever. I’ve missed you.

Anthony      Me too.

Judy      How long has it been?

Anthony      Last Christmas – in New York. Have you forgotten?

Judy      Of course not! You bought me that beautiful …

Anthony      Earrings.

Judy      That’s right. I never take them off.

Anthony      But I haven’t played for you for … Five years. – Melbourne.

Judy      Melbourne?! Oh … I don’t think Melbourne went terribly well …

Anthony      No, it didn’t.

Judy      But you’re back to play for me anyway?

Anthony      Yes.

Judy      Good for you! Have you met my fiancé?

Anthony      We’ve spoken on the phone, that’s all.

Judy      Well, now here he is in the flesh. (Turning to Mickey.) The best thing that ever happened to me.

She pours herself into Mickey’s arms for a fumbled loving embrace.

She then turns back to Anthony.

Judy      Isn’t he wonderful? And gorgeous?

Anthony (changing subject referring to the cases)      Travelling light, are we?

Judy      The rest are in the lobby. Of course, half of them are just stuffed with old towels, but you have to keep up appearances.

Mickey      Judy, I need to go down and –

Judy      What?

Mickey      Give them some money.

Judy      No, Mickey, you stay here.

Mickey      I told you about this. You have to pay each week in advance.

Judy      We’ll see about that.

Mickey      Judy – let’s not start a problem the first day we –

Judy      Mickey – angel – this is the kind of thing you have to leave to me. We’ll pay them when it’s convenient for us. Now what’s the manager’s name?

Mickey      Mr Crosby.

Judy      Fine. Leave Crosby to me.’

Mickey      I just want everything to go smoothly.

Judy      Oh, it will. With you in charge! My God! This is going to be the biggest success of my career. And Top of the Town.

Anthony      Talk of the Town.

Judy      Correct! We’re going bring it back from the dead. Just gimme six weeks. Mickey’s a miracle worker, Anthony. He has got me everything I wanted. We have Delfont wrapped around our fingers. So – Mickey’s in charge of everything from now on. He’s going to be my full-time manager.

Mickey      I gave it all up – to be with Judy. But I’ll continue with my business interests – keep the empire going.

Anthony      Yes. You run a club or something, don’t you?

Mickey (insulted)      ‘Or something’? What does that mean?

Judy (jumping in)      It doesn’t mean anything, darling. It’s just the way he talks. – So! Here we all are! – In London. In the best hotel. In the smallest God damn suite they have … ! … But at least they squeezed a piano in.

She goes over to the piano and looks around it.

… Is it in tune?

Anthony      Surprisingly – yes. First time ever, I think.

Mickey      That’s because I arranged a tuner to come in this morning.

Judy      You did? – I told you – he’s going to be the best manager in the world.

Mickey      I already am the best. They just don’t know it yet.

Judy      You hear that? He takes right after me.

Anthony      How unfortunate …

A brief uncomfortable pause.

Judy      Ha! (To Mickey.) See – English humour. I warned you about that, right?

Mickey      Yeah.

Judy      They think irony is elegant, sarcastic sons of bitches. You have to behave yourself, Anthony. You’re on board a tightly run ship. It’s all been done. I’ve never known things worked out so far in advance. (To Mickey.) You’re a wonder. You even got Anthony back.

Mickey      Well, that wasn’t me – that was Delfont.

Judy      Even so! (To Anthony.) We’ve only been dating a couple of months. And look. (She shows her engagement ring.) Engaged after just one week. Isn’t that amazing?

Anthony (dryly)      It’s astonishing.

Judy      Husband number four.

Anthony      … Five.

Judy      What?

Anthony      It’s five.

Judy      Is it? My God – who am I missing out? (She thinks, then counts on her fingers.) Grumpy, Dopey, Sleepy …

Anthony      laughs.

Judy      Ha! I love it when you laugh. I can still make you laugh – that’s good …?

Anthony      It’s a miracle.

Judy      Well, yes. Because Melbourne … we had some problems, right?

Anthony      It was a bloodbath.

Judy      Yes. But here you are – and I’m thrilled. You’re the best there is. Didn’t I say that Mickey?

Mickey      Several times.

Judy      Oh, I’m just the luckiest woman alive. My favourite pianist. And – the love of my life.

She slobbers a kiss on Mickey’s lips, which seems as much for Anthony’s benefit as anything else.

Mickey      We should get these cases out of the way. You just relax.

Judy      Thank you, darling.

Anthony      Can I help?

Judy      Oh, please – you’re so sweet.

She then goes over to the piano and plays a few keys as Anthony and Mickey pick up various bags and cases and take them off into the bedroom, bathroom, etc. Mickey instinctively grabs the heavy trunk first and wheels it into a corner. Anthony’s first choice is a tiny toiletry case which he delicately carries into the bathroom. Judy accompanies herself on piano to sing part of a song to Mickey.

Judy (singing)      ‘Just in time, I found you just in time …’

She looks over at Mickey, who smiles back and blows her a kiss. They continue with the cases.

… Look at you two go! You’re working like little –

Anthony      Munchkins?

Judy      I was going to say Mexicans. They’re taller.

She plays the musical notes of ‘Follow the Yellow Brick Road’ on the piano and then grabs her own throat and chokes like she is being strangled. The cases are soon cleared and Mickey and Anthony both take a seat.

Judy … Do you have any candy? I want something sweet. Not a cigarette. They’re very bad for you. Deanna Durbin used to smoke all the time, even in school at the studio. She was like a chimney. A chimney with one eyebrow that grew all the way across.

Anthony      laughs, loving the Hollywood anecdotes.

Judy      … Diana always sat next to Elizabeth Taylor. Oh! Liz Taylor was charming … So charming you just wanted to run her down with a car! Mickey Rooney smoked too – it stunts your growth! … I liked school, but I never learned anything. You should learn things. I lost so much time in vaudeville. And we were a terrible act. We always followed this comedian – Happy Harry. He was the saddest man I ever met. Funny people just aren’t funny. Don’t you find that? It’s not a way to live. We all turned out very peculiar. Did I get a cigarette? I asked for a cigarette.

Mickey      gives her a cigarette.

Judy      Thank you … (To Anthony.) Where are you living these days?

Anthony      Just down the corridor.

Judy      I mean – where are you living when we’re not paying for it?

Anthony      On the south coast – Brighton.

Judy      Oh. Is it nice there? Do they have fog?

Anthony      Not very often.

Judy      Are you sure?

She sits at the piano.

I love the fog.

Anthony      I’m sure.

Judy (playing a couple of notes and then singing)      ‘A foggy day in … (awkwardly) Brighton town!’ … No, you’re right – no fog.

She idly hits a few random piano keys.

… You know what I think? (They don’t answer.) I think we should celebrate – and have a drink!

Mickey      and Anthony suddenly turn to look sternly at her.

… What?!

Mickey      Judy –

Judy      What!? Just a drop of champagne or something. To mark the occasion.

Mickey      No!

Judy      Oh for Christ’s sake. I’m not talking about passing out on the floor here. Just a half bottle of Dom Perignon – to make a toast.

Mickey      Not a drop.

Judy      Oh, Mickey.

Mickey      We’ve talked about this.

Judy      Yes, I know, but –

Mickey      You’ve got six weeks of concerts. That’s not easy.

Judy      Now you listen to me –

Mickey (tough)      No. You listen to me! No booze, no pills, nothing. While we’re here – I make the rules. So forget the champagne.

Judy      Sid would have let me.

Mickey      No he wouldn’t! (Testy.) And who cares what ‘Sid’ would have done?

Judy      Sorry, darling, sorry. (To Anthony.) … He doesn’t like it when I dig up the ex-husbands.

Mickey      shoots a look at Judy.

Judy      … They don’t get along.

Mickey      Judy!

Judy      I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Jesus.

Mickey      Well, it’s always Sid and Vincent and what they –

Judy      Don’t get testy – you’re so testy. (To Anthony.) He gets spiky.

Mickey      I think anyone would get spiky if they had to keep hearing about –

Judy      I light candles. That’s how I relax. I take a bath with lots of bubbles. Have you tried that darling?

Mickey      I’m fine, thank you.

Judy      Take a bath. Light some fucking candles.

Mickey      Is that what Sid used to do?

Judy      No. Though Vincent loved to bathe.

Mickey      You see – the ex-husbands again.

Judy      Well you brought them up!

Mickey      is about to carry on, but stops himself. Instead, he just laughs. Judy joins in the laughter.

Judy (after a moment)      … So can I?

Mickey      No!

Judy      … Okay. You’re in charge. (A look to Anthony.) … I’ll tell you what – I’ll get a couple of those hotel glasses that you use to clean your teeth. Fill them with water from the tap. Who needs Dom Perignon.

She flounces towards the bathroom.

Shut your eyes and we’ll hardly notice the difference.

She exits.

Anthony      She hasn’t changed.

Mickey      So they tell me.

Anthony      … What’s the plan for today?

Mickey      I think we’ll just go out and eat. Talk everything through – like, when you’re gonna rehearse – and all that stuff.

Anthony      Fine.

Mickey      … I play too, you know.

Anthony      Play what?

Mickey      Piano. Jazz piano. I’m pretty good.

Anthony      Really? Well, that’s a surprise.

Mickey      Yeah, that’s me. I’m just full of surprises.

Anthony (gesturing to the piano)      Please – play something …

Mickey      I don’t have to audition for you.

Anthony      Oh, I wasn’t –

Mickey      Yes – yes, you were.

Judy      emerges with three glasses of water from the bathroom.

Judy      Here we are! Now – let’s do this.

The others reluctantly take a glass as she makes a toast.

To the show!

Mickey/Anthony      The show!

Judy      Judy’s back!

Anthony      Again!

Judy      … Yes, again. But this time you better believe it … Oh – and to Mickey Deans. My husband to be. Who I love so much, I could just explode. Cheers, darling!

They toast their glasses and drink. Mickey pulls a face immediately. Judy swills it all around her mouth, gargles, and then swallows.

Judy      … It’s not so bad. It’s those Victorian pipes. (A strain in her voice.) Gives it a special twang.

The phone rings.

Anthony      I’ll pour these down the sink.

He collects the glasses, but Judy hangs on to hers. He heads back into the bathroom as Mickey answers the phone.

Mickey      Hello? … Yeah, we’re just heading out to eat, but you can leave the other cases in the room … Yes, Mr Crosby, I’ll bring the money on the way down. (Judy gets his attention.) … Er – could you hang on? Miss Garland would like a word with you.

Judy      takes up the phone as Anthony returns. She puts on her best ‘Judy Garland’ voice.

Judy      … Mr Crosby? Oh, I’m so pleased to speak to you in person. Now my darling fiancé is about to rush down to let you have some money, but would you mind if we dealt with this tomorrow? We’ve just arrived after a very tiring journey – and I do want to be at my best when you come to the opening night next week. You are coming I hope? … Oh, that’s marvellous … Oh! That’s very kind of you. I see we’re going to become very good friends … yes … (A forced chuckle.) Oh yes … Goodbye.

She drops the performance immediately and puts the phone down.

Right – let’s go eat.

Mickey      Ain’t she something else.

Anthony      Oh, yes. Something else entirely.

Judy      strides over to the door.

Judy      (to Anthony) … Aren’t you coming?

Anthony      I didn’t know if I was invited.

Judy      Of course you’re invited! … It’s you that’s paying.

She exits.

Mickey      She’s not serious.

Anthony      Oh, I think she probably is.

As they both walk to the exit, fade to blackout. Music.

Scene Two

Lights rise on the hotel suite. The distant sound of traffic. The window is wide open and Judy is sat perilously on the window ledge looking and leaning outwards. Anthony enters, not seeing her at first.

Anthony      Hello … Hello?

Judy      Hello!

He is panicked and shocked when he suddenly sees her on the ledge.

But she remains calm – treating the entire episode as a bit of fun.

Anthony      Good God!

Judy      Hi.

Anthony      Get down.

Judy      Why?

Anthony      Judy!

Judy      I’m fine.

Anthony      Get down. (Reaching to her.) Take my hand.

Judy      No –

Anthony      Please! Judy!

Judy      Anthony – stop it! Pull yourself together! I am not going to jump!

The telephone rings.

Right – tell him that I’m jumping.

Anthony      What!?

Judy      Answer the phone – if it’s Crosby, the manager, tell him I’m jumping – Anthony!

He moves to the phone and answers it.

Anthony (into phone)      … Yes? … Who is this?

Judy      Is it Crosby?

Anthony (to Judy)      Yes, it’s Crosby.

Judy      Tell the son of a bitch I’m jumping!

Anthony (into phone)      She says she’s jumping.

Judy      And –?

Anthony      And you’re a son of a bitch.

She screams. Then she silently mouths to him to hang up the phone. He does so.

Judy      Now he’s crapping his pants. Bring the phone over.

He carries the phone over to the window.

Anthony      What’s going on here?!

Judy      That low-life scumbag of a manager is threatening to throw me out.

Anthony      Why?

Judy      Because he’s an asshole! … And we haven’t paid the bill all week.

Anthony      But surely you can –

Judy      Relax. I’m handling it. If there’s one thing I know, it’s diplomacy.

The phone rings again. She answers it immediately.

(Into the phone.) You fucking cock sucker! Look at this mess you’ve got yourself into … How dare you threaten me! You wait for your God damn money like everybody else; what makes you so special? … No, it doesn’t look good for my image, but right now I don’t give one God damn what they write about me – and how’s it gonna look for you and your pretty hotel when you got ‘Dorothy’ splattered all over your red carpet?! … And don’t think I won’t, because I’m so pissed with this place that I might just do anything … Yes, I hope we can!

She slams down the telephone.

(To Anthony.)      We’re going to come to ‘an arrangement’.

Anthony      Are you getting down now?

Judy      In a minute. I kinda like it.

Anthony      Please …

Judy      Come here.

He moves very close to her.

Judy      Look at them all. Like little ants, craning their necks, all excited. You think they want me to jump? Is that what they’re waiting for? Give them something to talk about when they get home.

Anthony      I think they already have that.

He offers his hand to her. And she begins to climb off the ledge.

But first she gives the crowd a wave and we hear distant whistles, cheers and applause. She then moves away from the window. She reveals that she has a glass of vodka and grapefruit to hand. She takes a sip.

Judy      What are you doing here anyway?

Anthony      We had a rehearsal.

Judy      We did?

Anthony      Yes.

Judy      Well nobody told me. You still want to do it?

Anthony      I think, in the circumstances –

Judy      Oh hell to the circumstances! We still got the room, don’t we? And I’m not spread across the sidewalk, so – life goes on.

Anthony      Pavement.

Judy      Huh?

Anthony      We call it a pavement here, not a sidewalk.

Anthony      We do.

Judy      Good – glad we got that cleared up. Now play the fucking piano.

The Story Continues on BooksBarbecue!

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