I opened my cabin door and stepped inside, discarding my jacket over the back of the room’s solitary chair. The metal desk before it held a pile of drawings I’d done—pieces of paper covered in stark, uninhabited charcoal landscapes. Some were places I’d seen, others images from dreams or nightmares.

I ran a hot shower and opened a bottle of gin. Nothing warded off loneliness like alcohol and steam.

Half an hour later, I was on my bunk with a glass in my hand and a towel wrapped around my midsection. My skin glowed from the heat of the shower. I felt clean and fresh and more than a little tipsy.

There was a knock at the door.

“Who is it?”

“Preston.”

I sat up, pulling the towel up to my throat. “What do you want?”

“Can I come in?”

I looked around at the clothes strewn across the cabin floor, the drawings on the desk, the pictures of men taped to the bulkhead above my headboard.

“No.”

“I can’t sleep.”

“Take a pill.”

“I can’t.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “I’m scared.”

I got up and found a robe. “Scared of taking a pill?” I knotted the robe’s belt around my waist and kicked some of the worst items of forgotten underwear beneath the bunk. I opened the door and he flinched back.

“No, that’s not it.” He rubbed his throat with his fingertips, plainly nervous. “I can’t sleep by myself.”

He was a child in the body of an adult—but then, aren’t all men?

“Well, you can’t sleep in here.”

“I’m not asking to, it’s just…” He tailed off, unable to articulate what he really wanted, which I assumed was simply some company.

I set my jaw and raised my chin. I was his captain, not his babysitter.

“You need to return to your room,” I said.

“But—”

“I only need to hear two words from you, Officer Menderes.”

Preston swallowed and looked at his feet. His ears were burning a shade that might have been humiliation. “Yes, Captain.”

“Good.” I put my hand on the door, ready to close it. “Now get back to your cabin before I have you up on a charge.”

He dithered. “Captain, I hope—”

“NOW, SOLDIER!”

I slammed the door and stalked back to my bunk. I knew sleep would be impossible. Even before he’d knocked on my door, I’d been on edge due to the impending rescue and my probable—perhaps inevitable—dismissal from the service. I had to restrain myself from pacing the floor, from rubbing nervous palms against each other.

“Ship?”

“Yes, Captain?” The Trouble Dog’s avatar appeared on my wall screen. Her face remained the same, but now she appeared to be wearing a black silk kimono.

“Was I too hard on him?”

“I’m not sure I’m qualified to judge.”