A cold horror sprawled across his heart as he glimpsed his future without Sarah and Eli, the empty house, the scattered toys, clothes bagged, never to be worn again, a life he couldn’t bear to look at, even obliquely.

The walls. The hallway. The smoke. Of the countless moments he’d spent, squandered, and savored with his wife and son, this was the one that counted. Everything else vanished in the light of that revelation and Mike fell in love with them all over again, with a fierceness that startled him into a species of out-of-body strength.

He put his hand out until the tips of his fingers felt something on the floor in front of him. Smooth skin, fabric, a sleeve or pant leg, he couldn’t tell. Grasping it, he pulled closer until he saw Sarah’s face through the smoke, eyes closed, coming into focus. She had curled herself around Eli’s small body, neither of them moving in the black depths.

“Hey,” Mike croaked, kneeling and lifting her up. “It’s me.”

She coughed, glassine eyes opening, runny with tears. “Mike?” It was barely a whisper. “You’re here?”

“Come on.”

“Can’t walk. Can’t…breathe.” A flicker of realization in her eyes: “Eli—”

“I’ve got him.” Mike lifted the boy in one arm, his left. He’d need his right for Sarah.

Who are you kidding? You don’t have the strength for this. You can hardly move yourself.

With Eli on his shoulder, he put his back to the wall and hooked his hand as low as possible around Sarah’s hips. The trick was going to be resisting the impulse to rely on his back. If it went out when he tried to lift, he doubted any of them would get another chance.

He took a deep breath and pushed as hard as he could. His legs were tired from running through the hospital all night, but they were still strong compared to the rest of him. Levering his body upward with the wall behind him, he stood erect with Eli under one arm and Sarah the other. For one bad moment he teetered, almost falling, then steadied and started lumbering back up the hall.

Somewhere in the smoke he found the strength to keep going.

CHAPTER 49

49.

“Mike?”

Hands, shaking him. Not Sarah, too forceful for her. Layers of scalding blackness lifted from his vision and he saw Dr. Walker in front of him.

“Where’s…?” he started to ask, but his larynx wasn’t up to the task and he started coughing up what felt like white-hot razor blades from the back of his throat into the delicate webbing of his vocal cords.

“Easy,” Walker said. “Your wife and son are all right. You got them out.”

Mike realized he was on his back and pushed himself up on his elbows. “Where…?”