Not sure what to say to that and seduced by the smell emanating from her programmable coffeemaker, Dani army-crawled out of bed. Minute shifts in the mattress were enough to wake Dog Max, but once she was out of bed, she could turn on the radio and have a dance party and he’d be oblivious. She contemplated Human Max’s last text as she padded to the kitchen.

Dani: Why do you want to spend time with me?

Max: I like you.

That was such a weirdly straightforward answer.

Dani: Why?

Max: Because I get the sense that you are unimpressed by the fact that I’m an almost-duke.

Dani: That is correct.

Max: I would even go so far as to say that my almost-dukeness works against me.

Dani: Still correct.

Max: I like that about you. You’re normal.

Dani: Is that supposed to be a compliment or an insult?

Max: You don’t like me. Therefore I like you. I’m like a kid who wants what he can’t have.

That tracked with her image of him. Also, she was texting with a baron over her morning coffee—how surreal was that?

Dani: So in this scenario, I’m a toy you want. Nice.

Max: No, you’re just an interesting person I would like to spend time with since I happen to be in your city.

She almost cracked as she took her coffee back to her bedroom to try to figure out what to wear that telegraphed “It’s just a normal day, a day in which I continue to be unbothered by the fact that my husband is boning Undergrad Barbie, tra la la.” You’re just an interesting person I would like to spend time with. When was the last time someone had said anything like that to her? Well, never, because grown-ass adults did not speak like that, so openly and without guile. Her limited interactions with Maximillian von Hansburg suggested that he did, though. He told the truth. And even though that truth was often about his many and varied romantic and sexual conquests, there was something refreshing about his cheerfully relentless honesty. Max was a fuckboy, basically—a fuckbaron?—but he was a remarkably self-aware one.

There was also the “unnaturally good-looking” part.

Max: So there’s no scenario in which you’ll deign to get together with me today.

She was strangely tempted, but . . .

Dani: No.

She meant it about being post-men. Vince had done a number on her, and she was done. Not only done dating, but done arranging her life, even one day’s worth of it, to please a man. She felt so strongly about that position that she’d put it in writing. Just in case she was ever tempted.

She had never imagined that temptation coming in the form of a baron.