Max—Dog Max, the main Max in Dani’s life—did one of his signature snore-snorts. Look, she even had an animal companion like Cinderella, except hers didn’t flit around helping with the tidying.

Max: The concierge at my hotel can get us into Momofuku Ko. I could send a car for you.

The thaw in Dani’s heart did not extend to Human Max, who, in addition to being a member of the Eldovian aristocracy, was insufferable. “I could send a car for you.” What, like this was Pretty Woman? She considered the various ways she could decline his invitation. In the end, she went with brusque efficiency.

Dani: No.

Max: Lunch?

Dani: No.

Max: A drink?

Dani: No.

Max: Coffee?

Dani: Coffee is a drink.

Max: So that’s still no?

Dani: Yes.

Max: Yes that’s still no, or yes you’ll have coffee with me?

Dani: Listen, dude. Or should I say listen, duke?

Ha! She cracked herself up. She sat up against her headboard to allow for easier texting, eyeing Dog Max, whose breathing did not change.

Max: Baron, actually.

She knew that. She’d googled Maximillian von Hansburg when she met him in Eldovia last summer. He was, despite his personality, unnaturally good-looking. And, really, who wouldn’t respond to meeting a baron by googling said baron? She had learned that he was low-level famous—or should she say infamous?—in European circles for being a globe-trotting, womanizing playboy. The European tabloids called him the Depraved Duke, which as far as she could tell was a nickname that originated when he was photographed frolicking with a mystery woman while wearing an adult onesie on the deck of a yacht during the Cannes Film Festival.

Max: My father has to shuffle off this mortal coil before I attain dukedom, and I can report that he is in fine health.

Dani: Okay, but here’s my point: I am post-men. As I told you last summer.

Max: Yes, meaning you don’t want to date, correct?

Dani: Correct.

Max: But what about Leo? You talk to Leo all the time. You flew across the Atlantic last summer to visit him.

Dani: Leo’s my best friend.

Max: I rest my case.

Dani: What does that mean?

Max: Leo is a man.

Dani: Your powers of observation are astounding. You’ll forgive me if I’m suspicious, but I seem to have read an article with a headline that referred to you as a “man-whore.”

Max: Were you googling me? I’m flattered.

She didn’t bother replying. She wasn’t about to defend said googling. That would sound like protesting too much.

Max: My point is, I’m not asking you on a date. I merely want to spend time with you.