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Chapters (50)
  1. Cover
  2. About the Author
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. 1
  6. 2
  7. 3
  8. 4
  9. 5
  10. 6
  11. 7
  12. 8
  13. 9
  14. 10
  15. 11
  16. 12
  17. 13
  18. 14
  19. 15
  20. 16
  21. 17
  22. 18
  23. 19
  24. 20
  25. 21
  26. 22
  27. 23
  28. 24
  29. 25
  30. 26
  31. 27
  32. 28
  33. 29
  34. 30
  35. 31
  36. 32
  37. 33
  38. 34
  39. 35
  40. 36
  41. 37
  42. 38
  43. 39
  44. 40
  45. 41
  46. 42
  47. 43
  48. 44
  49. Acknowledgements ♦ Diolchiadau
  50. THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING

It was darkening outside now and once more the repentant sea was calm. It would not go back to its former colour for a few days, as if its shame left a stain on it. She had often thought that it never truly did go back. That once a storm like that took place, things changed for ever. Nefyn brought the lamp back towards the boat, stepped inside and pulled the tarpaulin over herself, too. And as the soft light of the lamp illuminated them, they both lay in the broken boat under the unfeeling stars.

9

Boathouse ♦ Marfa ♦ Storfa

THAT MORNING NEFYN HAD placed her hand on his forehead. He still felt far away. Aching, she had pulled herself up and edged open the boathouse door. For the first time that she could remember, she turned her back to the sea and walked up the path to the cottage without searching the strandline. She drank some water, buttered some bread, ate and washed, the cuts on her arms and under her feet stinging in the lukewarm water. She pulled on a clean dress and the cardigan left for her, and set about collecting the specimens one after the other, placing them in an old shoebox. Then she started sweeping the floor, the shattered glass scratching the slabs beneath the broom.

As she worked, her mind was back in the boatshed. Perhaps it was the effect of the storm or her exertions in dragging his body up the beach, but she had slept deeply last night. A dark, dreamless sleep without the nightmares that usually plagued her. She had woken early as the curlews cried, listening to his breathing as a new day opened around them.

She leant the broom on the wall before going to count the tablets that were left on the kitchen sill. She hadn’t taken any since Joseph had left but she calculated that he would be away at least another fourteen days. Perhaps the man would have gone by then and her brother needn’t know anything about him.

The knock on the door caught her breath.

Nefyn’s heart set to beating a chaotic rhythm, her throat tightened. She hurried into the kitchen, stepped behind the door, listened to the sound of the front door being pushed open.

‘Nefyn? Nefyn, it’s me.’

She had come in. Footsteps on broken glass. A silence. She held her breath. She could still sense her near. A moment. Then, the sound of Efa sweeping the last of the glass on the living-room floor. Nefyn stood, frozen, willing Efa anywhere else but here.