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Chapters (50)
  1. Cover
  2. About the Author
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. 1
  6. 2
  7. 3
  8. 4
  9. 5
  10. 6
  11. 7
  12. 8
  13. 9
  14. 10
  15. 11
  16. 12
  17. 13
  18. 14
  19. 15
  20. 16
  21. 17
  22. 18
  23. 19
  24. 20
  25. 21
  26. 22
  27. 23
  28. 24
  29. 25
  30. 26
  31. 27
  32. 28
  33. 29
  34. 30
  35. 31
  36. 32
  37. 33
  38. 34
  39. 35
  40. 36
  41. 37
  42. 38
  43. 39
  44. 40
  45. 41
  46. 42
  47. 43
  48. 44
  49. Acknowledgements ♦ Diolchiadau
  50. THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING

‘He was dead when I found him,’ she said again.

‘No …’

She could feel the tremor in his body.

‘And I’ve always known that I could bring someone back.’

Heavy tears fell from Joseph’s eyes. He let them fall unimpeded on the blanket that covered them.

‘But it’s not …’ he began.

‘His love … it was enough.’ Joseph’s vision was blurred; he could not make sense of the words. ‘He set me free.’ Joseph pulled back, studied her, tried to read her face. ‘Can’t you see? We set each other free. And I can’t live here any more, not like this. I have to go to the sea. I want to. I can’t live this half-life.’

Joseph nodded. His tears blinding him.

‘You can’t leave me.’

‘Please, I’ve felt … I’ve felt enough …’

They held each other in silence for a long time. Nefyn feeling the warmth of him under her fingers. He looked up eventually.

‘When?’ he asked.

She pushed away his tears.

‘Now?’

Joseph’s eyes widened.

Joseph carried her in the moonlight. She was almost weightless, her slim limbs cold in his. He walked across the stones and set her down on the strandline. She smiled, her eyes drawn to the water. Thirsting. The tide was receding and Nefyn could feel it tugging at the strandline at her feet.

‘We’re all just a collection of things. Brought together by the sea. Torn apart,’ she whispered.

Joseph stood silent, his head falling to his chest like a child’s. She rubbed his back.

‘Please,’ she said. ‘Let me go.’

They held each other in their arms. Listened to the sea.

‘You’re free now, too,’ she said.

Joseph nodded. Kissed her head. Held her hand until she pulled away. Their fingers finally releasing each other. Then he watched as she walked slowly into the sea, her eyes fixed on the horizon. As the water pulled at her, she turned back for a moment, smiled fleetingly, the compass glistening at her neck, before disappearing into the dark.

44

Sail ♦ Hwylio ♦ ’abhar

AT EMRYS’S FUNERAL, JOSEPH had stood beside Efa like a son. His arm in hers as he walked her back to the car. The church had been full and it had been a comfort to her to know that Emrys was so loved. They had then returned to her house, and Joseph had stayed there, their loneliness binding them together. He had helped her box up Emrys’s possessions, his clothes. A few days later, the sailing boat had been returned to them and Joseph had moored her in the harbour, and they had spent many evenings looking out at her in silence.