Every time he left, he would count out the tablets, place them in a line on the windowsill. One for each day he would be gone. At first, his trips were shorter, less frequent, but now they were becoming routine. She watched him as he tipped the tablets into his palm and laid them out for her one by one. He turned, looked down at the pill, untouched, on the table.

‘How many times do we have to do this, Nefyn? They keep you safe,’ he urged, his shoulders sinking.

‘They keep me safe?’ Nefyn could sense his growing impatience, his desire to leave.

‘I wouldn’t give them to you if I didn’t think they helped.’

Nefyn smiled coldly. Studied him. Joseph could feel his anger at the back of his throat. The walls of the cottage starting to weigh on him.

‘They don’t help, they make me feel nothing, Joseph.’

‘But that’s better. Don’t you think?’ Nefyn looked suddenly unsure. He recognized the loose thread in her demeanour, started to unpick her resolve. ‘It is, isn’t it?’ he assured. ‘You know it is.’ She was unravelling and he could feel it. ‘And anyway, the days will go quicker this way. Until I’m back.’

He’d won again; he could sense it. He watched as Nefyn tentatively reached out her hand and picked up the tablet, placed it on her tongue. Joseph pushed the glass of water towards her, his gaze dropping. ‘We’re running low, I’ll get some more when I’m gone,’ Joseph said, as he pushed the bottle back into his pocket. He watched her drink. ‘I’ve asked Efa to bring you food. Let her put the box on the bench outside. Don’t let her in, OK?’

Nefyn nodded. ‘All right.’

Joseph stood for a moment. The girl he was seeing would be waiting for him. He’d met her at the harbourside in the North. She was working in one of the cafés there. She didn’t know about Nefyn, of course. He wouldn’t, after all, ever bring her back here, but she allowed him to be someone else, for a while at least. Nefyn was still, the relaxant beginning to work. He found himself pressing her to him for a moment, and kissing her head, before hauling his bag over his shoulder and leaving without looking back.