I eyed her as if she’d casually raised the prospect of imminent travel to another planet. I said, “Don’t do this to me, Lydia. Please. You know I can’t think rationally about anything else right now.”

She nodded sympathetically – but said, “I take it you’ve been monitoring this new disease? It’s not anecdotal static anymore; there are official reports coming out of Geneva, Atlanta, Nairobi.”

My stomach tightened. “You mean Acute Clinical Anxiety Syndrome?”

“A.k.a. Distress .” She seemed to savor the word, as if she’d already adopted it into her vocabulary of deeply telegenic subjects. My spirits sank even further.

I said, “My knowledge miner’s been logging everything on it, but I haven’t had time to stay up to date.” And frankly, right now—

“There are over four hundred diagnosed cases, Andrew. That’s a thirty per cent rise in the last six months.”

“How can anyone diagnose something when they don’t have a clue what it is?”

“Process of elimination.”

“Yeah, I think it’s bullshit, too.”

She mimed brief sarcastic amusement. “Get serious. This is a brand new mental illness. Possibly communicable. Possibly caused by an escaped military pathogen—”

“Possibly fallen from a comet. Possibly a punishment from God. Amazing how many things are possible, isn’t it?”

She shrugged. “Whatever the cause, it’s spreading. There are cases everywhere now but Antarctica. This is headline news – and more. The board decided last night: we’re going to commission a thirty-minute special on Distress. High profile, blitz promotion, culminating in synchronous primetime broadcasts, worldwide.”

Synchronous didn’t mean what it should have, in netspeak; it meant the same calendar date and local time for all viewers. “Worldwide? You mean Anglophone world?”

“I mean world world. We’re tying up arrangements to on-sell to other-language networks.”

“Well … good.”

Lydia smiled, a tight-lipped impatient smile. “Are you being coy, Andrew? Do I have to spell it out? We want you to make it. You’re our biotech specialist, you’re the logical choice. And you’ll do a great job. So…?”

I put a hand to my forehead, and tried to work out why I felt so claustrophobic. I said, “How long do I have, to decide?”

She smiled even more widely, which meant she was puzzled, annoyed, or both. “We’re broadcasting on May 24th – that’s ten weeks from Monday. You’ll need to start pre-production the minute Junk DNA is finished. So we need your answer as soon as possible.”

Rule number four: Discuss everything with Gina first. Whether or not she’d ever admit to being offended if you didn’t.

I said, “Tomorrow morning.”

Lydia wasn’t happy, but she said, “That’s fine.”

I steeled myself. “If I say no, is there anything else going?”

Lydia looked openly astonished now. “What’s wrong with you? Primetime world broadcast! You’ll make five times as much on this as on Gender .”