“Then you don’t want an expert – in TOEs, or in Anthrocosmology. You want a science journalist.”

Akili let me drag the notepad from vis hand.

I thought of the hopeless screaming woman thrashing on the floor in Miami, and the briefly lucid victims who’d clung to their sanity only minutes longer. I had no wish to follow them.

If there was one remaining purpose to my life, though, this was it: to prove that the truth could always be faced – explained, demystified, accepted. This was my job, this was my vocation. I had one last chance to try to live up to it.

I stood. “I’ll have to leave the camp. I can’t concentrate with all this noise. But I’ll do it.”

Akili was huddled on the ground with vis head bowed. Ve said quietly, without looking up, “I know you will. I trust you.”

I left the tent quickly, and headed south. Stars still showed dimly in half the pale sky; the wind from the reefs was colder than ever.

A hundred meters into the desert, I stopped and raised the notepad. I said, “Show me A Tentative Theory of Everything , by Violet Mosala.”

I took off the blindfold.

Chapter 30

I kept walking as I read, half-consciously retracing the steps I’d taken some eight hours before. The reef-rock hadn’t fissured in the quake, but the ground’s texture seemed to have been transformed in some subtle way. Maybe the pressure waves had realigned the polymer chains, forging a new kind of mineral; the island’s first ever geological metamorphosis.

Out in the desert, away from all the factions of Anthrocosmology, the anarchists’ heedless rejoicing, the mounting reports of Distress, I did not know what I believed. If I’d felt the weight of ten billion people slipping into madness around me, I know I would have been paralyzed. I must have been saved in part by lingering skepticism – and in part by sheer curiosity. If I’d surrendered to the appropriate human responses – blind panic and awe-struck humility – in the face of the magnitude of everything which supposedly lay in the balance, I would have thrown the poisoned chalice of the notepad away.

So I emptied my mind of everything else, and let the words and equations take over. The Kaspar clonelet had done a good job; I had no trouble understanding the paper.