I was about to correct them but thought better of it.

‘Oh, you know. Halloween,’ I muttered.

I could hear Mrs McNulty cackling next door. I gave them each a small sandwich bag containing a solitary custard cream and was pleased to see their disappointment as I did so.

November

Thursday November 1st

Next door’s Halloween party was still raging on even as the morning sun was bravely daring to peek its head above its rooftop duvet. In honour of All Saints’ Day, I tried to have the patience of one but there are only so many times it’s possible to hear ‘Monster Mash’ before murderous thoughts emerge.

I said a prayer in the hope that the saints might intervene:

O holy saints, I thank you.

St Eadfast and St Alwart, for always being there for me.

St Urdy and St Able, for making me stand on my own two feet.

St Agger and St Umble, for helping me to keep going even when the journey was hard.

St Ubborn, for teaching me to stick to my principles.

St Alactite, for giving me something to look up to.

St Alagmite, for keeping me grounded.

St Artle for your endless surprises.

St Atistics for showing me that deviation can sometimes be normal.

St Ockholm-Syndrome, for holding me in thrall.

St Raddle, for always letting me see both sides.

St Upendous, for just being terrific.

And St Anza, for introducing me to poetry.

Whether it was my prayer or not, the music died down next door shortly afterwards and the final St Ragglers left. I went out to the shed to continue the unsaintly task I had begun.

Friday November 2nd

The money arrived in my bank account today. There’s enough in there to settle my Poets on the Western Front debts although whether I will now be accepted back into Poetry Club, I don’t know.

Mr Bloomer and Cora Nesmith from the Mongolian Yurt Company will have to wait for future instalments.

Saturday November 3rd

Villainelle

A hero is fine but boring as hell.

Where is the fun if there isn’t a foe?

A good story needs a villain as well.

Heroes win out and they then get the girl.

The end of the tale we already know.

A hero is fine but boring as hell.

Luke without Darth is a difficult sell.

The Lion and the Wardrobe’s plot is too slow.

A good story needs a villain as well.

Sherlock’s OK but Moriarty’s a swell.

A Joker-less Batman, I’d gladly forgo.

A hero is fine but boring as hell.

Every Beowulf needs their Grendel.

Borg sans McEnroe? I’d have to say no.

A good story needs a villain as well.

Harry’s less dull under Voldemort’s spell

And Jekyll is best when Hyde’s in full flow.

A hero is fine but boring as hell.

A good story needs a villain as well.