At this time, the Moon–Jupiter opposition straddles your natal Ascendant–Descendant and your Vertex lies forebodingly conjunct with Venus. Meanwhile Neptune is conjunct the 9th house cusp and opposing the 3rd house cusp. It may be an idea to start saying your goodbyes to the loved ones around you while you still have the chance.

On a brighter note, Pluto and its associated penumbra is conjunct your antiVertex and you may find yourself being paid an unexpected compliment.

This is the most positive forecast that I’ve received from Mrs McNulty for some time.

Tuesday October 30th

On Tender Hooks

Let me cut to the cheese:

every time you open your mouth,

I’m on tender hooks.

You charge at the English language

like a bowl in a china shop.

Please nip it in the butt.

On the spurt of the moment,

the phrases tumble out.

It’s time you gave up the goat.

Curve your enthusiasm.

Don’t give them free range.

The chickens will come home to roast.

Now you are in high dungeon.

You think me a damp squid:

on your phrases I shouldn’t impose.

But they spread like wildflowers

in a doggy-dog world,

and your spear of influence grows.

To my surprise, Kaylee answered my call.

‘What you been up to, Bri? You been robbin’ the British Legion of their poppy fund?’

I could sense some hostility in her tone.

‘You got our money yet?’

‘Nearly.’

‘Anyway, you got anything important to say or is this just a curtsey call?’

I asked her about Toby Salt and whether she had any ideas what had happened to him.

‘Dead as a doorknob, I reckon.’

‘Why do you think that?’ I asked.

‘Far gone conclusion. His book’s only just published. People want to talk to him about it. He loves himself too much to stay away from all that voluntarily.’

‘What do you think happened to him?’

‘Murdered, I s’pose. Half a million people get murdered every year. That’s one a minute. I know these things. I wrote a poem about it once.’

I remembered. ‘But who could have done such a thing?’

‘Dunno. Maybe someone had taken a dislike to him. Jealous, maybe. Couldn’t stand the thought of him being so successful. Decided to extract his revenge on him. Can you think of anyone like that, Bri?’

She put the phone down on me and I was left alone with the silence.

It was a mute point.

Wednesday October 31st

I opened the door to a vampire, a werewolf and Donald Trump. Dave, Martin and Marvin shouted ‘TRICK OR TREAT!’, holding out their sack, but reared back a little when they saw me.

‘Cool outfit, Brian,’ said Marvin.

I looked down at myself. I was wearing nothing out of the ordinary, although I had slipped a tank top on, as the cold weather had begun to bite.

‘Norman Bates!’ said Martin. ‘Brilliant.’