“I didn’t know anyone who died that day, but as a pilot and an American, it was one of the most gut-wrenching things I’ve ever lived through. I can’t even begin to know what it was like for people who lost loved ones.”

“It was a very dark time. A couple of months later, after the initial shock wore off and the insanity settled somewhat, I began to wonder how I’d ever find my way out of the darkness. Part of me didn’t think I had the right to feel that way because look at what my parents had lost and Jenny and all of Toby’s friends who saw him far more often the last few years than I did. But as his sister, his twin, his only sibling, I simply didn’t know how to live without him. I’d never had to.”

“Baby,” he said softly, wiping away her tears with his thumb.

“I began to make plans to stop the pain.”

“Erin… God.”

The distress she heard in his voice made her feel safe to continue. “I wasn’t thinking clearly. I know that now. But at the time, I couldn’t see any other way out. I wanted it to stop. I wrote letters to my parents and Jenny and even one to Toby in which I told him that I couldn’t wait to be with him again. I even set the date. For the first time since it happened, I had something to look forward to.”

“Come up here.” He tugged gently on her arms and arranged her so she was on top of him, his arms wrapped tightly around her. “What stopped you?”