There was nothing, absolutely nothing, he could’ve said that would’ve meant more to her. To know he wasn’t judging her or finding her lacking because of her fears was a huge relief. And that he didn’t push or try to coerce her into a decision but instead gave her quiet time for contemplation made it easier for her to accept his offer.

“Okay,” she said tentatively. “Let’s try it.”

“Do you have anything for the anxiety? Something to take the edge off?”

“I have Xanax for when I can’t sleep, but I don’t take it very often anymore.” In the early years after Toby died, she’d taken it every night. But it had been a long time since she’d depended upon it.

“That’d work.” He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. “So we’re doing this?”

Erin summoned the courage she needed from deep inside, where the person she used to be still resided, and nodded. “We’re doing it.” Now if only she could get through it without losing her mind.

Chapter 18

Slim took the first shower while she packed a bag. She was all thumbs as she tried to figure out what to take while wiping away tears that continued to fall. She wasn’t ready to fly, and she certainly wasn’t prepared to lose her dad, let alone possibly both in the same day.

Was it only last night that she’d been thinking it was time to tell Slim about her fear of flying? That seemed like a long time ago now that the phone call from her mother had changed everything. This wasn’t the first time her life had been changed forever by a phone call. She’d been in a law school class at UPenn on a Tuesday morning in September when her phone lit up with calls and messages from her parents.

Erin vividly remembered, with the surreal detachment that comes from recalling a seminal moment, that she’d gotten up and left the crowded lecture to call them back. She vividly remembered the hysteria in her mother’s voice as she tried to convey to Erin what was happening in New York. Erin had made her say the words twice before she ran from the building, looking for a television, which she found in the student union. She’d pushed through the crowd, and when she’d gotten her first look at a building on fire, she’d passed out.