“But it does,” Liam agrees. “I was the same. Had a girlfriend for four years before the program. I was gonna ask her to marry me, but figured I should wait. Just in case. They tell us it doesn’t happen to all designated soldiers, and I know plenty of them still trying to cling to their heterosexuality, but for me it was impossible. I came out of the chamber and the first person to help me was a submissive, a gentle twink of a man who was put there for the sole purpose of providing relief to me if I needed it. He’s still one of the most beautiful men I’ve ever seen, just because he was the first. As if I’d been blind. I went from having no desire for men to being desperate to bend him over and use him for days. It’s a massive head fuck. I don’t know what I’d have become if I’d been forced to be changed and then pretend I wasn’t.”

“And then tortured for months and months over it,” Daniel says, forcing a smile, as if that will make light of it.

Liam pulls the car over, puts it in park and turns to him. “Whatever you want, for as long as I have you, that’s what we will do. No shame. I won’t tell your father or anyone else, but you deserve to experience pleasure, Daniel.”

“Is it, though?” he makes himself ask. There’s a fucking lump of emotion in his chest, sitting on his heart. Will being bent over for days actually be satisfying?

“Is it pleasure? Submitting and being weak? Getting mounted by a Dominant? Yes. It will be nothing but pleasure and release. Relief and joy.”

“And the rougher it is, the more I’m… taken against my will, the better it will be?” Is “taken” the best word in the entire English language? He imagines saying it—“take me, Daddy”—or even more profound would be Liam saying it—“I need to take you now; be good for me.”

His Dominant has not gone down the same mental tangent.

His smile is sad. “Yes, Daniel. For better or worse, that is true. Mentally, it might be difficult to reconcile what your body wants and needs, at first, but yes.”

Daniel has never wanted anything more in his entire life.

Maybe it will be difficult to reconcile the needs of the flesh with how his mind thinks about it. He’s willing to take the risk, though.

11

Another few miles go by, Daniel imagining all the things the man beside him might take.

“Daniel,” Liam says, voice rough.

“Yes?” he asks, voice more breathless than it should be. He clears his throat.

“A good, hard mounting for your first time is military protocol⁠—”

“Okay. I mean… why?” Daniel asks, curious.